It was announced earlier that Uganda would be getting its first ever total lunar eclipse somewhere in Acholi land next month. This news was received with proclamation that 30,000 tourists will come into the country to see the total lunar eclipse. We contacted the Minister for Internal Affairs and asked him a few questions about this total lunar eclipse and his is what he had to say.
We finally famous…we finally famous!
US: So, good news, Uganda getting a total lunar eclipse, what do you have to say about that?
Minister: I am glad you came to me. Finally, I can now add to my C.V that I was the first minister to bring in a total lunar eclipse in all of Uganda. I can now brag to my other ministers. In fact, I just sent a petition to government to increase my salary for bringing in a total lunar eclipse. You see, I went to the NASA and asked them personally if they can bring the lunar eclipse to Uganda and they allowed. This makes me a man of importance in this country.
US: So minister, you’ve still not answered our question?
Minister: You see, when I was in primary school, our teachers used to tell us about these things, and now, I can go and tell my teachers finally that I brought them a total lunar eclipse. I am now cool like that.
US: But aren’t your teachers not teaching any more Minister?
Minister: Well, I will go to the school and ask for them to put a monument of me as the first Ugandan to bring the moon to Uganda.
US: But Minister, we know that the total lunar eclipse is going to be in Pakwach?
Shit, who took the lights out?!
Minister: Eh! You are serious. Let me call the president and tell him that we need a minister for Pakwach Lunar Affairs (PLA) now. You see the government needs to capitalize on such opportunities. We are going to create more jobs for the people in Acholi.
US: What about the 30,000 tourists you said would be coming to see the lunar eclipse?
Minister: 30,000? They first need to ask visa from my office and if they don’t give me my ka-chai, I cannot allow them into my country. Besides, we also have other tourist attractions like Jennifer Musisi’s lawns and trees with tires in them in the city centre. I really like that woman but she’s hard to ku kwana.
US: Jennifer Musisi’s trees with tires?
US: So, Minister, what about the people of Pakwach, what do you have to say to them about the lunar eclipse?
We really need to stop and ask for directions.
Minister: For a long time when I was studying social studies, I wanted to know why those people were black. I think now that the total lunar eclipse is coming, those questions will be answered. In fact, we have sent a research team from government to buy land where the total lunar eclipse shall fall. Then we shall tell NSSF to buy land there. That land is very important. The country needs to invest in land where the total lunar eclipse has fallen.
US: Thank you minister for your time.
Minister: Ate my ka chai. This interview is not for free.
US: Actually, the people from Pakwach are the Alur.
Minister: Ok bye.