A peek into what will be happening at the MPs iPads training.
Trainer: Do you have your iPads with you?
Trainer: Turn them on!
MP for Gulu: How sir?
Trainer: Do you all see the button at the bottom middle?
MP for Gulu: Bottrom middle?
Trainer: Ok, let me come over there and I show you!
MP for Kampala: Naawe. Press this button!
MP for Gulu: Oh. Like that. Ok teacher, I am ready.
Trainer: Now, Slide to Unlock.
MP for Ntungamo: Sride to unrock? Nawe. We know thati ka one. Nitukakyenga!
Trainer: Have you all slid to unlock?
MP for Nebbi: Slid not slided? No wonder people failed English in these S4 results!
Trainer: You will now be on your home screen. Now on your home screen, you have apps!
MP for Busoga region jiggers: Ups? What do you mean ups?
Trainer: Apps for Applications!
MP for Busoga region jiggers: Osaga. What if we want downs? Can’t I have downs? Me I want downs.
Trainer: But? Ok. Who else is on their home screen?
MP for Gulu: Why do they call it the home screen?
Trainer: I don’t know. Ask the people from apple?
MP for Gulu: They are apple people?
MP for Kampala: No, not apple people. The iPad was made by people from Apple.
MP for Gulu: You man, why are you lying me. Apple is a fruit and not a country! You think I don’t know about you people from Kampala.
Trainer: Can we please continue with the training?
MP for Kampala: We are not talking about the apple you find in your fruit salad at Parliament.
Trainer: Apple is a company created by Steve Jobs.
MP for the Jobless: Hahaha. Pun. Did you guys hear that? Steve Jobs created Apple.
MP Youth Fund: Who has the highest score on flappy bird? I just got a new high score. 5.
MP Karamoja Affairs: Can I see? What is this flappy bird?
MP Anti Pornography Bill: Is it naked?
Trainer: My high score on flappy bird is 58.
MP Youth Fund: What? We shall expel you from parliament like the rebel MPs.
MP for Parliament Affairs: Guys. Pay attention otherwise we might not get our allowances today.
Trainer: Ok. So, on the home screen you will find apps. Can anyone tell me some of the apps they have?
MP for Gulu: InstaLimits
MP Youth Fund: Angry Money
MP for Karamoja Affairs: Whatsapp? What is this thing? Me I am fine.
MP for the Jobless: Solitaire
MP for Kampala: Uhm? I don’t see any? My screen has gone black!
MP for Parliament Affairs: Fruit Ninja? Is that the one they use to make our fruit salad?
Trainer: Alright. Any questions?
MP for Ntungamo: Hati, howu do you sride to unrock? What do I press?
Trainer: . . .
Well, that’s how it might go down. We shall surely keep you updated.