They said he wasn’t worth a damn…they were probably right. It didn’t stop him. He pushed on…persevered. He has been to hell and back. He went to The States and
was returned and now, on home soil no less, he faces his greatest challenge…
Urban Legend presents….
NAS VS ENGLISH in…
There are scoops and then there’s this. Urban Legend Kampala has just landed on the first one sheet of a movie touted as ” different”. The story details are being kept under wraps, but every indication suggests that the director was NOT influenced by the Walk-To-Work thing that had a politician eat rubber.
The story revolves around… actually, no, it doesn’t revolve at all, it “involves” Beyonce, a housefly that has been brought up thinking she is a human being. She eats with the family and goes to bed with them. It’s all a girl nearing the end of her 20 something days could ask for.
The eve of the Uganda Walk-To-Work protest begins normally for her. Despite her parents’ protests, she wants to make a difference and she intends to walk to work in a show of solidarity with those that are peeved about the rising commodity prices. Even if this shit doesn’t affect her, she wants to do something.
Then something extraordinary happens… her feet refuse to touch the ground…
*No reviews could be published because this movie is still in production
Three men wanted to go to work, but they had no fuel. They had jobs, but they didn’t have the means with which to get to them. Then, one day, they had a brilliant idea. An idea that many before them had executed for lack of options, lack of transi… possibly a lack of sense. This is the story of one of those men….
When Kina-U goes to West
This is a story of love lost, love found, lust, sex, crime, fist fights, food fights, standing-in-line-at-the-supermarket, buying-newspapers-from-Abdu and eating-mama-Nakka’s sabulenya. The plot also lightly touches on the theme of beef. Not Lady Gaga beef, think more 2Pac/Biggie beef.
The movie stars our very own Juliana Kamonyozi acting as a Swan that has no feathers and cannot fly (but is fly) and Irene Nibiru, acting as her would-be bosom buddy who turns around and stabs her in the bosom. Rather back. ‘Black Swan’ was originally supposed to be called ‘White Swan’ but the casting crew were so impressed that Kamonyozi could walk on tip-toe the whole movie and also, she demonstrated that she could do the MJ crotch-grabbing, ‘aouw’ screaming, moonwalk thing.
The story: Irene and Juliana both want the same spot in a play called ‘That’s not life, Mwattu’. So they dance on their tip-toes to each prove who the better choice for the part is.
Kale that chic, me I thought she is just for music, I swear – Angella, Nansana
I have a leaked copy with behind the scenes and bonus features, just holla – Dijit Bugalo
I laughed, I cried. I sat here contemplating stuff and then, finally, I watched the movie – Stephan Spillbag Musisi
You saw it here first
The Electoral Commission
Bebe Cool, Bidandi Ssali, Maddoxx Ssematimba
Beti ‘O’ Kamya, Samuel Lubega, Abed Bwanika and others
A ragtag group of misfits are brought together by fate in an act that will change the very fabric of history… I swear! With just days left, lies are told and relationships are broken. No one can trust the other anymore. Betrayal, Slander, Buffalos. How far will you go to pursue your agenda. Who has what it takes to succeed. Everybody wants to come out on top but there can only be one winner. the rest can only be THE LOSERS
- We didn’t think anyone had the balls to do this – GOAL pullout, New Vision
- My eyes have been opened to fresh opportunities – Hyena, Redd Pepper
- I loved it. I still do – Yoweri K Museveni, President of Uganda
- Technically I wasn’t in this movie, but I had run out giraffe posters, so when this opportunity came knocking… – Beti Kamya
- Man made movies, but movies made man mad – Bobi Wine
Amama Mbabazi (Screamplay), Saalamu Musumba (Screenplay)
Jaberi B. Ssali, Yoweri K. Museveni, Warren K. Besigye, Nobert ? Mao, Beti T Kamya and friends
A little East African country sets the stage for this tale of power, greed, a rivalry spanning generations… and old age. Warren is a guy just trying to make things work, but his rival doesn’t believe in that shit. He has tasted power and he knows how it corrupts…and it tastes nice too.
Enter Jaberi, a man that has watched the relationship turn sour over time and now wants a piece of the pie. With support performances from Nobert ‘Hero’ Mao, Samuel ‘say-what’ Lubega and a surprise turn from Beti ‘outside countries’ Kamya, No Country is the 2011 event that everyone will talk about.
Produced by a much maligned Electoral Commission, this is what you have been waiting for… that and the sequel (depending on the outcome at the box office) tentatively titled, “There May Be Blood”.
- Today’s best movie – Sanyu FM
- We watched it independently and laughed out loud independently. No government influence – The Independent
- Ekikulu oluzungu lungi. Da piple doing bad mannas are were? – Kamunye
- Good for generating headaches and a general sense of whatinthef***? – Freethoughtkampala
It’s not for playing
Yoweri Schwarz, Nobert Patrick, Beti Connor, John Besigye and others who were just paid to get killed
Brad Radio & Weasel Fiedel
This blockbuster is Badru’s debut piece as a director. Set in the future, it centers around a group of evil Rigginators sent to Kampala to destroy incumbent Rigginator Schwarz in order to invade the city and annihilate all its filth and corruption. To succeed, each must fight to rig their way into the system Pakalast. But how?
With the help of a group of earth dwellers known as The Mpe’Nkoniz, the incumbent Rigginator enters studio and raps them off the face of the earth. Before delivering the killing blow to each of them, he asks “You want another rap?” they answer “Yes Sevo” then he shoots them. Gruesome just.
- Very many complicated and useless words that mean the movie is kickass – The Observer
- Maamaaaaaaaaa! – Bukedde
- For us the naked parts are the best – Red Pepper
- Warrup yo! Teeniez yo! This thing bees hard yo! – Buzz
Seya Reeves, Kizza Stallone, Yoweri Fishburne, Kayihura Lee
Neo Ssebaggala (Seya Reeves) is a rogue Uganda Police agent who goes undercover as city mayor to thwart evil plans by international donors to rid Kampala of potholes. Together with his boss, PPU agent and childhood friend Morpheus Kaguter (Yoweri Fishburne) they embark on a mysterious journey through the Klatrix digging up potholes in order to bring old nemesis, sinister Agent Smith (Kizza Stallone) out of hiding for serious ass whooping. That’s where it starts-the ass whooping.
- “Stunning performances just, etc” – New Vision
- “A lot of vuvuzelas and kandahars. Very good” – Red Pepper
- “The women dress well” – African Woman