Yo, wassup, peeps? You be how, all ye? Are you kawa? Maato? Suzie? Jo? I know you be on pressure now ‘cause Bukenya has released those things and stuff be’s tight like bums. How is vac, anyway? Did you lose your virginities? If you had lost them in P2, did you lose them again in vac? See, vacation is where you do all crazy things because, if you are a guy, your balls are heavier than before and your parents will look at you in fear because your voice is deeper than a crater lake. If you are a girl, you have now morphed into a chic with a considerable larger behind and two larger things on your chest and so, the law allows you to put on a wig.
In vacation, I understand you played more computer games than their founders. I mean, for the rich kids, that is. For the poor, broke kids, you played hide and seek. It is fun. Actually, hide and seek is more fun, than those overrated gadgetry. Are you even on WhatsApp? Of course you are. If you aren’t, you lied to your friends that you are on WhatsApp, but your iPhone has bizibu. It is understandable. You have bizibu yourself. Did you go partying? If you didn’t, slap yourself hard in the face and say, “I am a fool.”
Now the results are back. You had your names on Coca-Cola bottles, but your names were not on your school’s notes board, because you failed GP. Because by that time you were sleeping. Because you only got 2 points. Because education is overrated. Because Bill Gates didn’t go far with education but he is now too far with dimes. You see that? You subscribed that school of thought. And here you are, your fingers dipped in your nose. You will be fine, Kaggwa. In vac, before I forget, I hope you wrapped some latex on that stiff thing. Did you, Aizo? Come on, Isaac, talk to me. Did you wear? Because in vacation, you have all the sacks of time and you can decide to give time to fellas who don’t have it because you have it in plenty and you are bound to screw up. It will screw you up. Kati, the bibuzo. Don’t worry about them. You passed. You are happy. But they shouldn’t blur your sight. Enjoy the moment now like a sea fisherman, because you don’t know what the sea will be like tomorrow. Campus is right at the corner and there, sir, sh** will be tighter.
They have no prep, but they have lectures you must attend. They have no bells, you will have to borrow clocks to keep time. They won’t call you for meals in the dining hall as though rolex stalls were evicted. They don’t have uniforms, carry a mini skirt. They are not girls in maroon and pink things and go-back-to-school stockings, there are aspiring socialites there.
But for now, enjoy your vacation.