As we were cleaning cobwebs from our ultra-modern ULK headquarters this morning, former presidential spokesperson, acclaimed author of the sensational pamphlet; The battle over Binazi money and one time chief dobbi in kyampisi, masaka district, Mr Tamale Mirundi just came. I took the opportunity to discuss with him several issuing affecting this country and he as usual, he offered some compelling insights that I share with you below.
Tamale Mirundi, welcome to ULK, I don’t know who invited you but let`s get started.
I was shown the way by empewo za bajajja, the winds of the grandfathers.
I worship the living God and so do our readers (at least I hope so) so Mr.Tamale, please desist from such pagan statements.
That is the polobulemu with you Africans, you don’t want to accept facts. You are myopic thinkers, me, I spent 5 years in Burma studying the konseputi of religion and its monopole by the Americans. I explain all this in my book, olumbe lwa bajajja. Go and read that book, olabe how you Africans were made stupid.
Tamale, can`t you ever make your point without insulting or abusing the audience?
If you are swimming, you have to prepare to drown. If Jesus rebuked the priests then who are you not to be insulted, nze siri maama wo.
Let`s just move to other issues, Amama Mbabazi recently sued the Museveni claiming he rigged the elections. Will the elections be nullified?
Can an impotent man claim to have impregnated a woman? Mbabazi is a non-issue, how can a man who got fewer votes than the weekly allowance I give my dogs be allowed to say such blatant lies. Ate, let me tell you, it is mbabazi who rigged these elections. No sane Uganda could have given mbabazi a vote, oba mutabufu wa mutwe.
Do you think it was right for the government to block social media after the elections?
YES!!!, let me tell you, constitution egamba, the state possesses kowaasivu stuff that it can employ if it so feels fit. Sosyo media has led to a big decline in economic growth in Uganda. Everyone is taking a selefie like a polobulemu. In China, facebook is not allowed but have you ever seen anyone die because they don’t have facebook?…answer me!!!
We are not talking about China.
When you see an elephant running, you don’t stop to ask it why it is running, you also just take off.
So now we are talking about elephants???
In litiriticha, that is called an analogue
You mean an analogy?
Nze siri muzungu
Only Bad Black…wait, Crazy Orange? Ripe Mango? Confused carrot? could confuse you with a muzungu.
Let me tell you, that is one of the sharpest women in this country. How many women have slept with men and only got STD`s? That woman got over six billion shillings, me, I remove my hat for her.
Let`s wrap this up.
It’s my boss who raps, not me.
I mean say your last words, this interview has got to end, and I have tickets for Batman vs Superman to buy.
Don’t waste your money on such, I am writing a new book, omusujja gwe`mbuzi that will levolusonayizi this country.
That is the polobulemu with…
BvS tickets are running out, to be continued.