It’s a list of nine things. People normally make lists in tens but we’re Ninjas of Justice. We’re giving the number nine a voice. You heard that, U.N.? We’re coming for jobs you selfless bastards.
Sad girls who are cheated on, here’s your fully researched-ish list.
1. Cheat on him first. Take pictures of you having sex with another man and show them to him so that he sees what you’ll do if you ever catch him cheating on you.
2. Let him sleep with other women. That way he’ll satisfy his stupid urge to cheat on you and won’t do it.
3. Treat him like shit. So that he hates you, gets frustrated and starts thinking that all women are the same. Then he won’t even bother sleeping with them.
4. Don’t meet or get to know him. So that when you catch some dude sleeping with some chick, you won’t know who’s cheating on who.
5. Ask him not to cheat. Take him aside and tell him it’s a bad bad thing and you’ll send him to his room if you ever catch him.
6. Spread a rumour that apart from you, every woman in the world has AIDS. And condoms are big fat liars.
7. Don’t try to find out if he cheated on you. It’s bad manners.
8. Sleep with the women he wants to sleep with so they get satisfied and he’s rendered useless.
9. Do a backsummer and spin around on your head. Repeat this every day until my friend believes that chicks can also do backsummers. I’m tired of arguing with the nigga.