To Happy End of Year Resolutions

By • Dec 31st, 2013 • Category: WTH

The year has ended. The year has finally ended. 2013 felt like every Friday was the 13th but finally, its done and closing soon and Rebecca Kadags has given us a bunch of Christmas and New Year’s gifts to begin the next year on a bang. I also want to give you gifts but the most I can are written down here (I am broke). Well, these are not gifts, just a few resolutions Ugandans should think about.

1. Learn how to use emojis, emoticons :) . I hope I used that right?

2. Finally pay for whatsapp using mobile money, if it can allow.

3. Arrest people who send you a whatsapp notifying you about the facebook message notifying you about that email they sent you about that phone call you missed.

4. Hopefully Eddy Kenzo can make it to the B.E.T Awards, or Mun G, or GNL or Big Trill or Ruyonga or Benezeri. The list is long they’d have to use an Airport Taxi! See what I did there?

5. Radio and TV presenters who can properly articulate themselves like they went to journalism school and not Janalism school like Rabin Kisti. Did Rabin Kisti even go to school?

6. Ensure that Bebe Cool finally pays all his rent arrears in his area code.

7. Make sure the Makerere University Students strike during the holidays.

8. Kyambogo University should apply for more outdoor learning instead of indoor because that’s what they do best.

9. When you make a sextape, make sure its not on a flash drive, CD or anything other than a tape. Authenticity counts.

10. Mint helps you pass the breathalyzer test but I am not sure this is a resolution. It also works for bad breath if you want to hold conversations with innocent people in a taxi. Get mint.

11. Golola should finally find something to beat other himself in the ring.

12. MTN and giving people bad mornings by giving stalkers 1 minute every day to assault you to pay their rent. STOP!

13. All the gospel rappers should finally decide on whether to keep it secular or keep it unsecular.

14. People should stop sending call me back messages when there’s daily combo on Orange. STOP!

16. Add Kaguta to the timeless people UTL already has.

17. Vote for the BBA participants before they go instead of when they’ve already gone.

18. Send BBA contestants that have completed a Bachelors Degree in Nothing instead of the S.4 UCE certificate.

19. Send BBA contestants that don’t sound American. Jesus is tired of weeping.

20. Lukwago should come up with a better catch phrase than Inflagmento Delecto. This is so last year. Speaking latin in luganda should also stop.

21. And may Monday and its mornings be less frustrating.

22. TPF 1 (Tusker Project Fame), yes, TPF1 winners should finally release some music or sound. Anything at least.

23. Finally save enough money to go to KFC!

24. Allow me to stop here. So. Many. Resolutions. . .

25. . .

2011. . . .

2012. . . .

2013. . . .

2014. See you next year ;).


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