By • Dec 18th, 2013 • Category: WTH

As the year comes to a close and the seasons begin if you haven’t sinned or on contraire, haven’t been a bad person, Santa is surely going to visit you. But then again, Santa is for rich people who can afford to have chimneys (like in the movies) unlike most of us who use sigiris. I am not even sure if Santa can fit in a sigiri but that’s not the point either.

This year, the kind people of ULK have asked to compile a list of presents that you can ask Santa to get for you so;

1.  Air-filter-mask.

For all the tear gassing baby Jesus foresees in the near future, this is a must have. Tell your Santa to get you one before he runs out of stock seeing as many people have it on their asking list too.


What do you mean someone farted?

2. A Dog.


Say Cheese

Do you already have one? Well, the people at UMEME are about to reinstate the fabled Load shedding so now would be a time to get an anti-UMEME measure. Then again, Santa can get you dogs from outside countries that are fiercer. Do you know of the dogs that speak German? Those ones.

3. A 6 Sim-card Chinese phone.

Another telecom I am told has made its presence known and is asking people to name it. How about No Name Telecom? Well, if you see Santa, make sure you ask him for that 6 sim-card telephone such that you don’t have to switch off your phone every time you have to call your girlfriend because of free-calls-on-the-other-sim-card-that-is-not-in-the-telephone-at-the-moment!

4. Better Politicians Next year.

Sorry, this was on my to get presents list but then again, maybe it’s also on your presents list. Well, the more the merrier, right!

5. A refrifrigigirator

There’s going to be so much fanta this season, in the compound, in the bedroom, in the kabada, and everywhere you need to have more than one refrifrigigirator so ask Santa for one. In fact, he can give you free ice, I mean, he’s from the North Pole where all the ice in the world comes from.

6. 21 pieces of chicken in a bucket for 99k from KFC

No, not Kansanga Fried Chicken or Kikubo Fried Chicken or Kikoni Fried Chicken but Kentucky Fried Chicken. Apparently the chicken flew all the way from somewhere in America to come and celebrate this holiday season. I am even told the nkoko nkulu tastes like it owns a visa. Ask Santa for this!


Seems about right.

Well, those are just a few presents you can ask Santa Clause for this Christmas or Mr. Museveni. They even look the same without the hair and they both have big hats. Anyway,

Have  a when-you-read-this-its-near-Merry Christmas.

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