Kids in Uganda are starving, ADF rebels have regrouped for fresh attacks, Egypt is politically unstable and now we know why. There’s a new shortage of condoms in the country. People are stranded and the world economy is on the brink of eternal collapse cos there seems to be no solution.
Well, there is. Get the popcorn. Below are the top ten UNBS-approved ways to curb the condom problem by having sex in a cost-saving manner:
1. The most common method is to wash your condom after use and use it again. And wash it again and use it again. And wash it again and use it again till it hits retirement age.
2. Don’t use the condom alone. Use it together with your partner.
3. Have sex sparingly. You can have half of it in the morning and then complete the other half later in the evening.
4. Outsource all sexual activities. You can hire interns to have sex on your behalf.
5. Have sex with people in exchange for condoms.
6. Wait for your neighbor to finish having sex and then knock to ask if they are done using their condom so you can borrow.
7. Collect all your sex from the past, present and future and have it at once. Just like bulk SMS, bulk sex is cost-effective and comes with great discounts.
8. To avoid STDs, avoid STDs.
9. Alternatively, you can have sex quietly. That way, the viruses won’t hear you.
10. To avoid pregnancy, don’t pick up when she calls the next day.
Merry Christmas & Happy Intercourse!