Brandy_Norwood

Shoulda Stopped When . . . Ray J

By • Jun 5th, 2013 • Category: Columns, Shoulda Stopped When...

Ray J is Brandy Norwood’s kid brother. He is also known as that kid that appeared in several episodes of his sister’s shadow show- Moesha and One on One; a show that was populated by a cast of thick eyebrows. He also starred in Mars Attacks and was also, at some point in his life, in Kim Kardashian.

Kim

Not Ray J

Notably, he went through a phase in his life where he was ‘cool’. The word is used loosely because if he had been shipped off to this continent and dumped in some landlocked third world country, his ‘cool’ would really just be local.

Or construed as ‘swag’ by some Casablanca dwelling, Smirnoff ice sipping, solar panel pants-wearing, grammatically challenged youth. But this is not about that kid. This is about Ray J.

Warrup?!

Warrup?!

He recently released a track titled “I Hit It first”, which many have erroneously thought refers to hitting the peak of the Norwood family fame. As some people on the interwebs have pointed out, it may be in reference to creating the beast with two backs with Kim ‘Kabina’ Kardashian.

Ironically, balancing on Kim’s gluteus maximus may have actually been the highest point in his career as everything else after that has not really had any strong impact on his relevance as a person.

He proceeded to record a track titled “Sexy Can I” which, if memory serves me well, was really a humble request for some. That he referred to his prey as “sexy” further reinforces his affinity for being ‘L’.

The only other place this word emanates from is the mouths of uncouth builders as they cat call campus chicks or those of boda boda chaps or uncouth builders in local bars. Ray J’s attempt to make it mainstream failed.

He also went on to give realty TV a stab, but as anyone that has watched Reality TV will tell you, it only works if your ‘reality’ is worth watching. Sadly, Ray J’s only serves to give the unenviable task of watching paint dry some form of respite.

Nonetheless, following his show, For the love of Ray J, his sister, the formerly well known Brandy Norwood, premiered a reality show of her own, titled, “Brandy and Ray J; A Family Business”. The general consensus that the family business in question may in fact be wildly grasping at the straws of success.

Could use another day in paradise

Could use another day in paradise

But it’s not that bad, Ray J may have been Whitney Houston’s last boyfriend, so I suppose he did have something old going for him.

So here’s where we are now, Brandy’s baby brother wants us to know that he was all up in Kim before Kanye. It’s all well and good, but Kanye already told us that his girl is famous ‘from a home movie’.

Waggwan? I hit it first

Waggwan? I hit it first

Shut up Ray J, you’re drunk.

 

Liking this article is what happens to cool people

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doesn't get why you feel compelled to force an accent when you're talking to summers