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Shoulda Stopped When… | Michael Ross

By • May 23rd, 2013 • Category: Shoulda Stopped When...

Michael Ross is a decent guy and a more than decent dancer. However, as history has shown, dancers are seldom satisfied with having just one notch on their belt and consequently, Michael decided to venture in to the murky waters of music. Not dancing to it, singing.

His first attempt was the well-received “Senorita” which was essentially a jam whose lyrical premise revolved around hooking up with some chick. It was one of those tunes that stuck in your head at the time because outside of Mills and Boons and hemorrhage inducing soaps, the word “senorita” was actually novel,

No one used it, so when Michael did and in a song no less, the result was an instant hit.

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Nawe senorita, allow!
Photo credit : Musicuganda.com

‘How Do You Love Somebody’, essentially suggested that his quarry from his other song was not giving back as he was giving. We felt for him and let the song in to our lives, if only for a bit. And it was well with our hearts.

There was also an instance of “You’re the one”…according to MusicUganda. I have no recollection of this jam, but if it is good enough for MU, then it is good enough for me.

MusicUganda also reminded me that Michael became a brand ambassador for a telecom company way back when. And I’m pretty sure we were happy for him. We bought SIM cards, didn’t we?

This is the point at which we should have nipped him in the bud. This is when he shoulda stopped….

He had arrived. He was even selected to be a judge at a prestigious award ceremony in whatsit. AND, he had gone on tour in Outside Countries guaranteeing him a genuine accent. It is at this point that we should have said, bannage Michael, stop! You’re killing us with your awesome.

We did not and then got it in to his head that he could go one better and got gym membership so that his shirts could take a breather as he performed. This in and of itself was not necessarily a bad thing, the problem is, the songs he was using were the ones we had gotten used to.

Not a bad thing as such except that the first time we let them in to our homes, they were delivered by an innocent looking lad that you’d have no problem leaving in the living room with your kids. New Michael on the other hand looked like he would thump Senorita if she said no.  There were a couple of others, but, man.

Senorita wanted the D, she just didn’t know it yet. And when he asked you how you loved somebody when she won’t love you back, you cowered in fear lest you gave up the wrong answer.

He was not yet done. He released more and more jams which served more as vehicles to showcase his dance moves than anything. Remember ‘Tell Me’? How about the one where he threatens to take some chick’s clothes off and spends most of the video taking off his own instead?

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A young lady wonders what to do when Michael takes his clothes off instead of hers…

If his passion was music, it started to look more and more like it had decided to shift to the passenger seat and let dancing drive this young man’s career.

THEN SUDDENLY….

He shifted gears and went in to modeling. The latest edition of City Beat has his body in unfamiliar territory, closed clothes. Not a single picture allows him to show off the fruits of his gym membership, but you can certainly tell that he has become battle hardened.

If he were to raise his hands to you and say he built his career with his bare hands, you take one look at the dry paws and nod your head. Yep. It shows.

But wait, what’s this… Pressol?! Come on Michael, you have got to be kidding me. This is worse than selling your soul to the devil. If you can let them do this to you, we can only guess what you will be endorsing next….

 

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Remember this…

To help put this in context…

sexual-chocolate

Editor’s note: Urban Legend Kampala has no beef with Michael Ross. In fact, we wish him the best in his career. So much so that we would like to request our readers to stop downloading his music…er, illegally.

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About Ivan

doesn't get why you feel compelled to force an accent when you're talking to summers

  • Tony

    It’s actually not one that would make him dry. You guys are at least humane