How To Answer A-Level Exam Questions Like A Ninja

By • Apr 18th, 2013 • Category: Society

St. Lokodo S.S.S.S.S

Senior Five End Of Term Two Examination

History of Europe

By Mr. Cyrus Odongpit

A-level examination books


It is the despotic Queen of France, Marie Antoinette, who led to the French Revolution of 1787. Discuss.


Okay, first of all, that is your assumption, not mine. You can’t ask me to discuss something you’re not sure I agree or disagree with. If you believe Mariah Carey or whatever led to the French Revolution of simanyi what what, that’s your opinion. Don’t try to make me discuss something you don’t know I believe in. You don’t know me like that. For all I know, you could be setting me up.

If there’s a spy reading this, I want to categorically state that I don’t share this man’s opinion. He came up with these things out of nowhere and now he’s asking me to talk about them against my will.

Sir, if you wanted to discuss something with me you should have at least taken the time to first know me. I am not into those of violence. I take peace over revolutions any day. And I certainly don’t give a damn what happens to the French people. I am a Ugandan from Bukoto here. I have never been to France. I wasn’t even there in 1787.

What you’re looking for is a vampire. They live for hundreds of years and would most definitely give you a detailed account of what happened back then. Don’t tell him I told you this but I believe-we all believe-that Mr. Kalugu from S.3 Chemistry is a vampire. The man teaches when everyone else is sleeping.

If you had taken the time to get to know me, sir, you would have realised that you and I are into different things. While you’re into history, I am into current things of going to the disco, passing time with my friends and sisiring sexy women who are passing by.

Women are very important, so if you said, for example, that “Straka’s buttocks caused the Ugandan load shedding of 2012. Discuss.” I’d agree and discuss until the Master on Duty came here and chased me to go for morning preps. I’d tell you about how her body parts consume a lot of electricity and how her bums may be cut off because of many unpaid bills…important things that would actually help this country move forward. No one wants to know about the French Revolution. It doesn’t even have bums.

Women are a very essential topic, sir, and I’m sure you agree, judging from the number of kids we always hear screaming from your house all the way to the classrooms. Are those all your kids, by the way? Because I don’t think any man can produce an entire police station of babies. But seeing as you’re into things that happened when you were not there, who knows, maybe your wife got them at a discount when she went shopping.

All in all, sir, I don’t think that question is meant for me. I’m not into such things.

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  • Ray Stephen

    lolest!!!! mbu i wasn’t even there in 1787…haha

  • Peter Bamuhigire

    Very Hilarious. But i think the photo of David Kato is in bad taste, let the man rest in peace.

    • SleeknWild

      Thanks for the heads-up Peter. It has been replaced

    • SleeknWild

      Thanks for the heads-up Peter. The image has been replaced