I’m sure you’ve all heard by now about the law of miniskirts being tabled in the Parliament of Uganda. It states that if any woman is caught being attractive like, say, Nansikombi Stella Seremba over here…
…she could face more than 10 years in jail or pay a hefty fine of over 10 million shillings. Now, if that’s what you get for wearing just a miniskirt, what do you think they’ll do to you if they find you wearing panties? Remove them.
But seriously, let’s analyse the Miniskirt Bill for a minute. The punishment you get for wearing a miniskirt is in the same range as what you get for:
- Domestic violence
This means that every woman who wears a miniskirt is a threat to national security and a great danger to humanity.
Now let’s try giving this an international spin. Let’s list ten random women whose existence is potentially hazardous because they’ve worn miniskirts. We hope the ICC is looking into this.
- Lady Gaga
- Charlize Theron
- Angelina Jolie
- Scarlett Johansson
- Halle Berry
- Nicole Kidman
- Nicki Minaj
- Justin Bieber
If these women had been fined or imprisoned, there would be a significant reduction in violence, robbery, murder, tsunamis and so many other bad things that happen in the world.
So you see miniskirts should be expelled from Uganda. What this country actually needs is disappearing donor funds, corrupt ministers who walk free and laws banning drunk walking. In fact, I propose that next we table a Deodorant Bill. Every time I walk the streets of Kampala, I feel the need to buy a new nose. Oh, and a Farting Bill.