I’m Torn Between Two Men

By • Feb 6th, 2013 • Category: Uncle Agony

Uncle Agony dear,

My heart is split between two men. One is my boyfriend and I love him so much, and the other is a friend I met at my sister’s birthday party. We hit it off really well and somehow became close friends. He’s always there when I need him and he comforts me especially when I’m having trouble with my boyfriend. They are both special to me and I don’t want to loose any of them yet soon I may have to choose who to keep. Please help.

Faith.

 

Faith dear,

It’s not something I’d worry about very much. Many people around the world face the same problem. In fact if you did a Google search right now, you’d find that an alarming 40% of the world’s population have, at one point in their lives, spelled the word “lose” wrong, which inadvertently creates a whole string of problem after problem.

For instance, in your situation, how exactly would you define “loose”? Did you kidnap them, gag and tie them to chairs and are now looking for ways to ensure that the knots keep their grip? Or are you clasping them tightly that they are becoming too heavy and you now want to decide who to drop on the floor?

In the case of the latter, it really depends on your strength. Although I’d suggest you let the bigger one loose. Small guys are easier to carry. But if it’s a case of the former, I’d recommend the book ‘How To Kidnap A Child’ by Stephen Baskerville, PhD. Once you master the art of infant kidnap, you can easily apply it to grownups.

However, a gut feeling tells me you meant “lose”. In which case I’d be confused because I don’t see how you can love someone and then fall in love with someone else. It could be a psychological problem. Many of them are caused by tumultuous pasts or even brain tumors. Have you tried seeing a doctor?

 

Liking this article is what happens to cool people

  • http://www.facebook.com/uritah Umurungi Ritah

    hilarious!