Pennina S.S. Nabumma
[Insert Artist Name]
Uganda Music Industry
National Theatre/Ssesse Islands
Dear Local Artist,
Re: Application for post of Video Ho
Hello. I love you. My name is Nabumma Penina from Walimulimukifo, Masaka. I am also known as Sweet Sugar, or as Nabums. I would like to apply for the post of ho in the next music video you shoot for your next song.
I would consider it an honour and a great opportunity to work with your company. I am a dynamic self-motivated young woman and I believe I have the skills and talent that your company is looking for. Namely an awesome ass.
I have little formal education due to the fact that I am not intelligent but I am very very hot and I really do have an incredible ass.
I am so hot that when discussing the weather here in Walimulii, people ask themselves whether it is cold, just warm, or totally Nabumma.
I am so hot that I meet married men and they ask me my name I have to ask them the names of their wives first. Then I lie and say, “What a coincidence. My name is also Mangalita.” That way, when they call out my name during sex with their wives, no problem.
I was the most-defiled person in Masaka 2010-2011 when I had to retire because I turned 18.
Skills: Ass that is visible in both natural and artificial light. I don’t even have to move it. When people look at it, they instinctively shake their heads in wonderment and this creates the impression that I am dancing.
Experience: None necessary. When you see me you will also allow.
I believe that with me in your video we can take Uganda music to the next level. My ass could be the only thing that is making Ugandan videos not feature prominently on Trace Urban, you know?
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
For God and My Country