The One About Chickens

By • Jan 24th, 2013 • Category: WTH

Chickens. For years you’ve reared them, eaten them, made jokes about them, hell, even named girls after them, but no one has ever taken the time to really get to know and understand them.

The moment they are born, you heartless vagabonds just want to boil and fry them. And then when they grow up into fine citizens with promising futures, you want to grill and roast them.

So what makes them everyone’s favourite hunger toy? With the kind help of Chang Xia Hao Ming and some other Chinese guys from National Geoqraphic, we concocted the following totally inaccurate and baseless reasons.

Chickens rock

To test this theory, we hired an abandoned warehouse somewhere in Wankulukuku and set up a record label named Coockle Doodle Doo Records. Unfortunately, Firebase Crew threatened to sue us for plagiarism so we abandoned the project.

We could have shown you that Zari is much more than just a show-off.


Chickens are all about fun

To test this theory, we put an army of cocks on this side and a fun parliament on the other side. Then we removed the fun from parliament and replaced it with some sense, and watched as the opposite side raised dust.

Turns out sense is some sort of chicken aphrodisiac. They were trying to raid parliament to get laid.

Chickens spread good cheer

To test this theory, we let loose a flock of chickens into Record TV studios. They killed all humans and took control. As they got stronger, they extended their authority to UBC TV and a number of FM radio stations.

The leader now works for NTV’s Login.

Chickens rule

To test this theory, we voted a president into power in 2011.


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