New Prisoner On The Block: Mike Mukula’s Heroic Welcome

By • Jan 21st, 2013 • Category: Politics

You’ve heard?

Former Junior Health Minister and Soroti Municipality MP Mike Mukula has been sent to prison for embezzling Gavi funds, much to the chagrin of Mama Aponyot who lost 2,200 shillings’ worth of malwa after betting that the MP would use his high and mighty connections to Mavado to evade prison.

He was given a four-year sentence at Murchison Bay Prison, a high profile prison that Morgan Freeman broke out of in The Shawshank Redemption.

Mukula's Redemption

When prisoners there heard that he was coming, they quickly showered, wore their Sunday best, and eagerly waited in line for the man of their dreams to walk in.

With the help of Dolly Parton, acclaimed prison specialist and writer of the best-seller “When You Think About Prison Think About Me”, we broke in to ask prisoners how they felt about the second coming of the great prisoner.

Seremba Johnscovia, chicken thief, 7 years:

“When de first time when he was here, he inskracted dem to renov…revenat…to do again properly these buirdings which for us it made us happy. He’s de man!”

Hassan Sagala, boda boda rider, 2 years:

“We were tired of the same posho posho posho but now with a very top big man, we are now ensured of chips and chicken on the weekend.”

Bob the Onarebo, short-tempered sceptic, 3 years:

“Why are you asking?! Who sent you to get information?! Why are you looking at me like that?! Why are you running away??! Why are you stopping?!! Why are you running again?!”

Kanaabi Fred, police officer impostor, 5 years:

“They are now going to guard us like presidents and kings. No one will be allowed to touch us and we won’t be allowed to get out. Top-level FBI securiko just.”

Nkwawa Peter, drive drunker, 3 years:

“We are going to elect him the president. We are going to start our own government and we don’t want anyone to interfere. Those who want to join in are also free to steal things and they come in.”

Shemererwa Simcard, defiler, 6 years:

“For us us we don’t sosolate. Even other ministers they are welcome. We have more space there on B block and another one for VIP. Like that cell there is called Bigirimana. Are they sending anyone from the Office of the Prime Minister?”

Kisiraani Felix, con artist, 10 years:

“Me am always telling people prisoners are the best politicians. You think it was an accident for him that to come here? He wants to get our knowledge for ruling this country properly. Am going to give him my advises but they are not free. I want two million shillings in a briefcase before 5 o’clock pm in the evening.”

 Mikey Mouse

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