If you were wondering why the levels of alcohol consumption are on the rise in Uganda, you finally have the answer. Zuena Kirema has quit the music industry.
Every Ugandan is drinking out of frustration that one of the greatest music legends has given it all up just at the peak of her career. She was the greatest supplier of poor quality music in Uganda after Zari. So many people were comfortably living in misery but now everything will change.
Radio stations will become clearer, discotheques will liven up and the entire population’s life expectancy will rise, a very sad ending to a perfect tale of love in the time of repugnant music.
Bad music is now going to become a rare commodity and in effect its price will go up. The dominantly poor population will now have to resort to the more affordable well-refined music with more humane voices.
So why did the great Zuena quit? Did she find her true calling in cleaning Bebe Cool’s dreads? Did her producer stop using drugs? Did thieves break into her fan’s house and steal his CD player? Or was it the only way Congo was going to stop fighting?
We sent our reporter to find out.
ULK: Well done, Zuena.
ZUENA: Well done to you too.
ULK: So let’s cut straight to the chase.
ZUENA: No one chased me. I’ve stopped singing on my own.
ULK: So no one influenced your decision?
ZUENA: I don’t have flu. I just stopped singing.
ULK: So why did you do it, Great Zuena?
ZUENA: Other musicians were becoming jerasy because of my talent.
ULK: You have talent? Does anyone know about this?
ZUENA: All my fans they know.
ULK: But I’m one of your fans and I’ve never heard you mention anything about your talent. You didn’t even post it on Facebook. Does your husband know about this?
ZUENA: But I don’t understand please.
ULK: I swear if I had known you had talent I would have found someone else to support. I only supported you because I was sure you had no talent. I felt at home and now I feel so alone and betrayed. You used me!
ZUENA: Eh eh! Why are you crying?
ULK: Don’t touch me! I’m telling KCCA that your music is constructed in a wetland.