The World’s Most Famous Saves | Part One

By • Oct 4th, 2012 • Category: Promos

“To be human is to err – Plagiarized by Sleek of and phone number +256 7RE-MOVED

It is because we err so much that it’s phenomenally big when a knight rides in on a white horse, unsheathes his sword, un-mounts his horse, whispers into its ear and asks it to run off to some place safe where it can graze and not expose its eyeballs to the grim stuff he’s going to do, then he walks over and saves us from the colossal ball-twist we’ve managed to err ourselves into.

These knights come in several forms. It can be that Boda Boda rider who breaks all rules and gets you to that super important exam in Kooki on time…

…or that radio presenter who speaks while a Rachel K song is playing, or that person who screams “nooooooo”, runs and pushes you out of the way just as a marabou stork attempts to shit on you, or that guy buddy of yours in friend zone who always comes in to act as your boyfriend when smelly boy you don’t like starts to act aroused around you.

The knights can also be like those of Arnold Schwarzenegger when he levels an entire village for standing between him and a chao, or Liam Neeson when his child is kidnapped, or UMEME when it notices that a cute lady has come over to your place and it knows your lack of game; so it goes away to help you grow some balls. Or when it notices that Straka is straining your 14” TV and it goes away.

Here on ULK we are all about recognizing knights. Saviours. Super saves. Today we focus on one super save in particular; you may know him as the bald American with Chinese eyes. Bruce Willis. In Armageddon, a movie based on real life incidents that we at ULK saw with our very own eyes, the world was going to be hit by a comet. Can you imagine the world was going to end? We wouldn’t have lived to see The Hostel.

So Bruce Willis, acting as himself, says “No way! No comet will hit this world as long as my head is still bald and my eyes still squinted!”

He goes to the comet. And (>>fast forward >>) he, using some super explosive available in all leading supermarkets in America, blows up the comet!!! SPOILER ALERT-Look away if you haven’t watched the movie

He dies. Can you imagine? How heroic is that eh? Super save. Super super save. He is probably in heaven reading this right now, his squinted eyes widening in amazement “How do these ULK niggz know so much and stay uber cool?”

We save. We’re the guys they call when Superman needs new underwear that he couldn’t get because he didn’t save with NSSF. Don’t be like Superman. Save with NSSF & you’ll get bigger benefits than just underwear.

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