But why Centenary Park? Why now? Whyyyyy? Is the lament all over the city as hundreds of thousands of grief-stricken citizens struggle to come to grips with the latest strike from that unstoppable force that Twitter is already calling Hurricane Jennifer.
Jennifer aka Cash Money aka Mo Money Yo Problems deployed a team of Transformer-looking vehicles at Centenary Park and the New Taxi Park this morning and from her laptop at the office pressed “select all” and then “delete”. Kiwedde.
Without giving a hell about the New Park because we have our own cars, but we want to know now is Why.
We could have gone to KCCA and asked for the press statement, or we could just sit here and make up shit. Guess which one we did.
- According to one astute Kampalan, “No one goes there anymore. The place is local. Jenny wants Kampalans to style up.” Ela demolish.
- Some of those places serve rice with like stones there. And then you pay 16k. Ela demolish.
- Twakoowa wedding meetings from OGs who we haven’t heard from in 30 years (It is 30 years since Mu$i$i was in school) who heard that we earn like 40m a month and now keep inviting us to attend their meetings at Centenary Park. Never even used to share their Quencher in school. Ela demolish.
- KCCA hates cats.
- We can’t have that smell from that ka-water-streamy-thingy in the city yet we are even celebrating 50 years of independence.
- Kampala city has been short of adequate venues for bush-sex since Centenary Park was erected.