Dating For Professionals In Uganda

By • Sep 6th, 2012 • Category: Society

Many times I be bored. And when I’m bored I slacken my eyes and open my mouth to a near-drool posture like this, then I start searching the internets for anything minutely interesting.

I search and search and seeeeeeeaaaaaaaarch all of the internets but all I get is normal stuff. This one poked you, the other one commented on gundi’s status, the other other one also liked the other other other one’s photo…and on and on it goes. Last time I even did a Google search.

Then I fell on this website that caught my eye. It teaches men how to be professional daters. That’s not what caught my eye. The website is Ugandan. Yes, UG. My eye fell out even. But I’m now recovering. Thanks for your prayers.

The people behind the site must have grown tired of listening to Americans telling everyone that the universally right way to love is how Jack and Rose did it in Titanic.


And so they embarked on a adventurous quest to the furthest corners of the earth to find that ancient gem that rids mankind of all that mucky thinking that Americans own love. Hence the creation of


I must say that’s a pretty bold move considering that most Ugandans who decide to start dating either end up in prison with black babies who are white, or they just start singing dancehall love songs that will be used by teenagers as inspiration to defile each other during the holidays.

A bunch of teenagers plot to have sex with each other under the guise of partying.

You see, love was originally not found in Uganda. No. It just started coming in when the Uganda Revenue Authority eased taxes levied on foreign goods. Which is why you find that a few Ugandans have started learning how to love.

They cheat on their partners more discreetly and when they have kids out of wedlock, they hide the extra kids somewhere their loved ones won’t find them.

I know. It melted me too. You know what? Pass the hankie. I can’t go on with this article anymore.

(Runs to bedroom to cry and locks the door even).

Liking this article is what happens to cool people