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The News In Grief_Sisqo

By • Aug 29th, 2012 • Category: Newsworthy

The following post is as fresh as the subject’s career. Proceed with caution

A young man attempts to revive a mythical beast; his career

A young man visits a third world country hoping to unleash a dragon. He fails. There’s no punchline, understandably, because, well, that wasn’t a joke. I’m not in the habit of, upon coming across one lying dead on the ground, flogging horses, but I was a tad curious. Was the show really as bad as people were making it to be? I set out to find the truth and as this interview will reveal, sometimes, there really are two sides to a story.

{This interview was conducted with a White Reveler; WR, because of how supportive they tend to be}

ULK:     I know you’ve got to go back to carrying your burdens, so I’l just get right into it. Was the show bad?

WR:     Not at all. Unlike other shows, I found that I was rooted to the spot. I was on my legs the whole time. It was not a bad show, though some may say it was.

ULK:     There are reports that if someone wanted to move about, they could with relative ease…

WR:     How is that a bad thing? Ugandans are juts haters. Actually, I think the organisers have to be given credit for how they placed us during this show. At no point did I think, shit, we are squeezed. It was roomy.

ULK:     Can you tell us a thing or two about Sisqo’s grand entrance?

WR:     Actually, yours is an interesting choice of words. I was there with my friends and suddenly this grey haired guy, sort of like a ‘negative’ of Eminem leaps on to the stage. I remember my first thought was, “Who let jaja out of his cage?”

ULK:     You keep your grandfather in a cage?

WR:     It’s an expression. You know how it is, you grow old, you can no longer be supported by your legs, people put you away….

ULK:    Please go on.

WR:     So anyway, this guy starts jumping up and down and that’s when we knew, “this is it”. I would say he brought us to our feet, but like I said before, we were already on them.

ULK:     But technically, if he already found you on your feet, he didn’t really do any work, did he?

WR:     It’s easy to think that, but let’s focus on the positive points. For instance, how interactive the show was.

ULK:     Interactive?

WR:     Why yes, when he sung the thong song, I kid you not, it felt like there was a thong right in front of me. I could practically feel it…

ULK:     What of Unleash The Dragon?

WR:     Well, you don’t see a thong in front of you and not instinctively think, I’ve got to get it and Unleash the Dragon…

ULK:     Were the ladies impressed? We often hear tale of artistes who come and perform and chicks just lose it. Was it any different, given how the age has caught up and possibly overtaken Sisqo?

WR:     Well, let’s just say that by the end of the show, many people in attendance were, how do I put this delicately, er…wet.

ULK:     Was it the rain?

WR:     ….yes, that would be the joke I was going for. Seriously though, my mates and I all had a good time. I have the photos to prove it. Here, share these with your readers…

Our interviewee unloads

 

reveller’s on their feet, having fun

 

A would-be reveller looks on, green with envy

 

Revellers; the morning after

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doesn't get why you feel compelled to force an accent when you're talking to summers