How To Know If Kiprotich Is Your Brother

By • Aug 13th, 2012 • Category: Featured Post, Society

The man has won Uganda’s first Olympic gold medal since 1972. The man is making headlines all over the place. No, he hasn’t broken a record. He’s not a violent man. He has simply outrun the record.

Which makes it just the right time to start using sentences like, “Oh, Kiprotich? He’s my O.B from O-level. He actually once borrowed one of my spoons. True story.”

Or even better, it’s just the right time to be suspicious that he could actually be your brother. We’re giving you a chance to do a quick DNA test to ascertain if it’s really true or just a rumour you heard from yourself.

Please answer the questions below.


Can you catch a bullet?


  • I saw Neo doing it in Matrix.
  • Does dying after catching it count?
  • Yes I can. Obama taught me to just say things.
  • First show me.


Can you run faster than a car?


  • There was this one time during traffic jam…
  • I don’t have a car.
  • I think I can. I’ll never try it because it’s dangerous but I think I can.
  • Like what model?


Have you ever won a running competition?


  • Why would I run?
  • I won a competition and ran away before they realized that I had cheated.
  • Yes. I once ran for Compound Prefect in school.
  • On a PlayStation or X-Box?


Who is the fastest runner in the world?


  • Hussein Bolt. Or is it Hassan Bolt? I keep seeing his name on Twitter. Is he also from Uganda?
  • Our neighbour’s dog. That thing can run!
  • Stephen Kiprotich, of course. Even if haters are going to say I’m lying.
  • Bebe Cool?


What event did Stephen Kiprotich win?


  • A gold medal.
  • He won the Olympics.
  • The men’s Olympic marathon. How can you not know this? And you say you’re Ugandan. Mssssscccchhhhhhheeeeeewwwwww!!!
  • First wait and I google. Let me seeeeeeeee… Eh! Kim Kardashian has uploaded a new picture on Facebook.


If most of your answers were option three, you’re definitely Kiprotich’s sibling.

PS: If police asks you to call us to verify results of this DNA test, we shall be sick and out of the country for treatment.


Liking this article is what happens to cool people

  • michael n

    relly cool