Monday Massacres: America 101

By • Aug 6th, 2012 • Category: Monday Massacres

We know you know so much about Uganda. You mumble UG trivia in your sleep, your friends are no longer impressed when in conversation. You chip in the latest number of people fighting for a spot on Sevo’s ass to kiss. You have so much info about Ug…but how much do you know about America?

Their elections are a few months away and we all know just how much you like whipping out err…trivia…among your friends so they can oohh and aahh and call you smart. You smart girl you. You smart boy you. You smart transgender you. Here’s ULK to maintain your friends’ delusion. Take this quick quiz and brush-up on your facts about the U.S of A. Dive right in.

What are swing states?

a)     They are places where monkeys live in harmony, nimbling on each other’s gonads, eating each other’s lice, thinking about bananas and generally composing songs for Sisqo.

b)     They are places where husbands and wives swap partners and mash privates with other people’s husbands and wives with their permission (and sometimes under their watchful eye, hearty cheerleading and brash instruction).

c)     They are states that play solely swing music in their clubs.

d)     None of the above.

Who is Sarah Palin?

a)     A sassy chickidee who acts in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ and makes dark members rise.

b)     A hot, wild mamacita known most for her one hit in 1998, ‘i eat food’, her overly crazy lifestyle and multiple run-ins with the law for possession.

c)     All the above.

What is the American dream?

a)     A joint dream that all americans have when they go to sleep; much like in that movie Inception.

b)     A euphemism guys use to refer to having had a sleazy dream with an american lady like Keri Hilson innit.

c)     Need to know basis.

Who is George Bush?

a)     One of the 27 people who went to the bush with Museveni.

b)     A dude who keeps beef for over a decade till he captures you, has your teeth checked and then has you executed.

c)     A ranch owner in Texas. A cattle keeper. Herdsman swagger. Cow whisperer. All like Sevo. Apart from the Texas bit.

d)     All the above.


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  • Fredahajaro

    but you also, there is no right option… but good read.