Big Brother is coming to an end. We don’t want you to be completely green about what is happening so we have compiled an unreliable guide to the events that led to this finale, and a line up of the important figures.
The Big Brother Stargame
Modeled on Arkham Asylum, the Big Brother Stargame is all about placing social misfits together under camera surveillance and carrying out psychological experiments on them.
The Asylum, also known as the “house” or the “set” is divided into two regions. Upville is for the villains, and Downville is for the hoodlums, who are less intelligent.
As you can tell automatically from the name, she is the official designated house stripper.
Lwaki? Mu ffumbiro temuli mmele? Agende alye.
The honourable MP for Ruhama has helped galvanise the movement party against the opposition in the house of parliament. We say this because she is more powerful than all other Janets in all other houses.
An annoying Kenyan who records weak rap music. He has survived “eviction” thinking it is because Africa wants him to win. Actually, it is because Kenyans don’t want him to go back.
A former prostitute was convicted for fraud and sentenced to four years incarceration after charges brought by her ex-lover.
A Ugandan chap the way you see Ugandan chaps. At this point I shall quote a statement from our twitter department:
Big Brother Africa UG representative Kyle, if you want to stay alive, don’t win. People will hug you, shake your hands & give you Ebola.
Now that you are up to date, don’t forget to join the rest of Africa on Sunday for the finale of the thrilling Big Brother Africa Stargame which we just described. Thank you.