Top scientists from Luzira prison have reported that Bad Black has started turning into a lawyer. Reports indicate that she started showing mild signs about three days ago when she lied to the guard on duty that she wanted to pee. However, when the guard let her out of her cage, she entered the toilet and pooped instead.
“And she has been doing it every day at midnight,” said one of the prison scientists, Scientist One. “She just starts lying out of the blue without even warning the wardens,” he added.
“It’s getting so bad that she has started lying to herself even. Like yesterday at midnight, the same guard heard her mumbling to herself, ‘I’m beautiful, no matter what they say’. Man!”
The guard on duty at the time of this interview told ULK that Miss Black had also started developing a few physical signs. “If you look at her carefully, you’ll see that her skin is slowly turning into one of those lame suits.”
The National Medical Institution of Ugandan Prison Scientists (NMIOUPS) said that they had started working on an antidote for the strange ailment and the public need not worry about anything. “People become lawyers all the time. It’s mildly contagious but as long as you don’t come in close contact with the victim, you’re safe.”
Upon conviction earlier this month, the famous Ugandan socialite for absolutely no goddamn reason, Bad Black, vowed to study law and fight for women’s rights when she finished her 4-year prison sentence.
It still hasn’t been established where she got the ridiculous idea but all speculation seems to point to her brain, the same brain that guided her into opening a chain of events that led to getting imprisoned and abhorred by her ex-lover, Greenhulk Somethingsomething.