Notes from an Idle Mind | Bad Black’s Back Behind Bars

By • Jul 18th, 2012 • Category: Notes From An Idle Mind, WTH

A tad late to the party, but I figure if the new vision is still conducting a poll way after her incarceration, I can still board the Bad Black wagon… not like that. I mean I can also climb… I can also weigh in with a thought or two. It’s my right as a Ugandan, innit?

Quick recap for those joining us from overseas {read China}, Bad Black is a term used to describe a lady with the social skills of a toothbrush and the fashion sense of an avocado…nuh, I’m just kidding. It’s the name of a social climber who seems to take the words and social and climb literally as evidenced in a number of pictures that have displayed her being climbed in a social setting.

She has, however, reached the peak of her journey and has thus begun her descent in the only way she knows how; she’s in jail. The law of Uganda has an eye defect that basically causes it to blink in the face of corruption and embezzlement, but look straight on with eyes wide open when someone that is not in power does the same thing government officials have been doing for years.

Let’s think about this for a sec, when donors pitch in, believing they are facilitating development, and someone ‘up there’ thinks, “That car on topujiya. I want yit…” how is that any different from the Black-Greenlagh saga? Seriously now, they are both screwing foreigners that have basically been duped to think they are actually doing something nice. Though when you think about it, at least Black’s actually working for it.

It’s not that detoothing is a good thing. It’s not even a word, but you have to admit, it’s about someone put into practice that “if you’re going to eat a frog, eat a big frog” nonsense you were fed last night. Screw stringing guys along so they can buy you airtime or fries, this chic’s got some kick ass wheels and tonnes of dime. Quick comparison; you – ‘special hire taxi’ Black – some other car. You – complimentary ticket to club, Black – sponsoring a theme night in said nightclub…{I may have gotten this part mixed up, Zari may have been the one that sponsored a theme night, Black just made it rain in the club, thus she sponsored a theme night in a corner in the club}. So yes, for all intent and purpose, you have every reason to hate on her….

…and yet…

Black may have single handedly { I’ll let that hang there for a bit so your mind can find a gutter to befriend}






Black may have single handedly achieved what the law has failed to for years; cut down on prostitution. The government has basically gone through the motions; arrest the ladies of the night, make them pay a fine, ask them for discounts, but never have they actually been thrown in a cell for more than a week. Black got 4 years…in case you’re trying to keep tabs, that’s a little longer than your average corrupt government official will get for introducing your hard earned money to his off shore mistress account.

In fact, according to research {which basically involved standing in the middle of a popular hang out spot with a wanton expression} the number of ‘offers’ has gone down drastically. There are fewer cases of ladies of the night walking over in their brightly colored leather knock-offs and asking people if they ‘want company’.

In essence, Black’s opened our eyes on how best we can fight crime;

  • Boda boda guy hustling you? Hope a rich white person will fall in love with him.
  • Guy at the take away still giving you dove’s wings instead of the chicken you asked for? Let cupid point a foreigner in his direction.
  • Chap at Owino still insisting that that’s your size, employing that messed up magical tape measure trick… well, you’re on your own buddy.

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About Ivan

doesn't get why you feel compelled to force an accent when you're talking to summers