One morning, the Minister for Disaster Preparedness calls a meeting.
Office cleaner: All rise! The Minister of Disaster arrives!
Minister of Disaster: This is not a court. You may sit. What’s the cleaner doing here?
Secretary: Someone has poured water on the floor. He wanted an expert discussion on how to avert the disaster of people falling.
MD: This idiot! Go and clean it.
OC: Wow! Agawalayi you people are so smart! I didn’t even…
MD: Go! NOW! Okay, so what disasters are on the agenda today?
Secretary: Bobi Wine is planning to release another song.
MD: God forbid! What’s the contingency plan?
Secretary: We’ve put more adverts on radio stations so that they don’t have time to play the song. We ran out of adverts about Ugandan things so we borrowed some from Kenya. Already running.
MD: Good. Anything else?
Secretary: Mya. The Michelle Williams of Blu*3.
Secretary: Never mind. No one knows her. She doesn’t even know herself.
MD: So what’s the disaster?
Secretary: We fear that people are starting to know her. Someone doctored a picture of her squatting and made it look like she’s pooping.
MD: EUGH! Take it off! No, leave the poop.
Secretary: One more thing, sir.
MD: The Burundi landslides, I know.
Secretary: It’s Bududa. And it happened before, a couple of years back.
MD: It has happened before? Why wasn’t I told? Which ministry is in charge of these things?
Secretary: Your ministry, sir.
MD: My minis… seriously, why am I never told anything around here? Were the Burundi people warned?
Secretary: Bududa, and no, I don’t think they were.
MD: What’s so hard about sending warnings? Just tweet one every once in a while.
Secretary: Without research? Warn about what?
MD: About anything! Everything, in fact! Tell them another landslide is coming.
MD: How should I know? They need to think we work. Tell the whole country the landslide is going to be everywhere. They should just get out of Burundi.
“More landslides expected countrywide.”