Who or What is A Nikki Minaj?

By • Jun 19th, 2012 • Category: Entertainment


Srsly WTF?

There is no clear and unambiguous answer to this question. Philosophers and scientists still debate this issue very hotly. The safest way to describe it is to say Nikki Minaj is a multi-ethnic, multi-personality, multi-genre, multi-coloured, multi-sexual hoe.

What does it do?

It is registered as a rapper but it is more likely to utter sharp auto-tuned yelps at a beat as if it is a dog annoyed by the bassline than it is to actually rap lyrics.

Where is it from?

Documents that recently came to light suggest that it broke out of a viral research facility in Tuscon Arizona where it was being studied. Virologists believed it to be the mutant offspring of Lashrondwa Jones, who is better known as Patient Zero in the 1982 Bedstuy Brooklyn Gonorrhea epidemic.

A mutant like X Men?

Her power was that she could transmit STDs through photons or light beams. You just look at her and you get sick.


The costume like for X-Men

How did she end up on TV?

A mad scientist named Llellwynn Fitz Mcbade was studying a way the US military could use Minaj as a chemical biological weapon when a terrible accident occurred; all the venereal diseases that he had stored in a radioactive chamber exploded all over him and the explosion that turned him into a hideous, scarred, misshapen dwarf. With tentacles on his head. He took on the name Lil Wayne and set out to rule. Ze world! Muahahahah!

His first chief weapon was Minaj, who he sought to show each and every man and woman in the world using MTV, BET, Channel O, Skizzy on Urban TV, NTV’s The Beat and even Bukedde TV.

And Jam Agenda?

People stopped watching Jam Agenda.

So everyone who has ever seen a Nikki Minaj video now has a venereal disease?

Unless you put condoms on your glasses.

Stupid. You are just a hater of YMCMB.

If you think I’m lying, that’s your problem. Go and watch the video for Starships and then don’t cry to me when you get nuclear syphilis.


I swear, the blow-up doll jokes write themselves



Liking this article is what happens to cool people

  • http://www.pea.com Tonny Rwan

    U’re at the top of ur game,ULK. U’ve just nailed it. I just can’t stop teething…

  • SB1

    How has this not been liked 20 bazillion times?!!! I’m dead from laughing. Or not. Still a good laugh.