My name is Line. Landline. I’m an 87-year-old Uganda Telecom descendant from the Nsenene clan of 041. I’ve noticed these little children called mobile phones have taken over the entire world with their wireless nonsense. They are highly undisciplined and rowdy little rascals that are nauseatingly taking over every corner of every city in the world.
Are humans so gullible that they let themselves be party to such a depraved generation? Back in my day we were perfectly structured so that if you wanted to talk to one of us, we knew exactly where to direct you. If someone was looking for Oscar in Makindye, we had poles and wires that got you there in an orderly fashion and made sure you didn’t get lost.
But look at what’s happening now. You want Oscar, you go to Makindye and they tell you “Ha! Sorry boss. He went to Club Silk to dance.” You can’t even tell how the stupid boy managed to disconnect himself from the wires and get out of the house.
Then they have these stupid slang codes that they use among themselves. Simanyi 079, 077, 075, 070, 071…these are not even codes for places. For us if someone told you Oscar was in Makindye, you dialed 041 and for sure Oscar was there. And if you dialed 043 and Oscar picked up and told you he was at home in Makindye watching TV, you’d go back home, get a stick from one of the brooms in the compound, and then wait for him to come back from Jinja and explain why he lied to you about his whereabouts.
But now sincerely my own son who I woke up one day and produced like this has the guts to lie to me about where he is just because he’s on 078? He tells you he’s at home sleeping yet you’re hearing a disco in the background. Why do humans subject themselves to this nonsense?
The stupid things also have these small TVs on them…they call them screens. Mbu for typing short letters to each other. They call it SMSing or PMSing or something like that. This is blatant prostitution. For us we knew how to do only one thing; calling. If someone wanted to send a letter, no matter how short, they would use the post office or put the letter on a bus.
I can’t even start talking about this other new thing of theirs they call the world wide cobweb. Please just save us from this disorderly generation and bring back the dignity of our days.