Yesterday we had a full report on the Battle Of The Champions, i.e. the concert where Bobi Wine and Bebe Cool competed to find out who was the best musician ever.
My colleague Erique did not attend the show but, being the super-journalist that he is, he was nevertheless able to fabricate a detailed report of exactly what went on.
Here are some of the highlights of the show.
1: The freestyle battle. Just like in 8 Mile, Wine and “Cool” went rhyme for rhyme with off-the-top raps. It wasn’t clear who won, both were able to lose themselves in the music.
2: When Wine’s Escalade and BC’s Hummer transformed into giant robots and began to box as in Real Steel. This was also inconclusive and the match ended in a split decision.
3: The dance-off: While fans of the Step Up series enjoyed the first round very much, the difficulty came with the second round when the two decided to perform ballet. It caused the judges and fans to fall asleep so no one could decide who won.
4: The Debate: With “Cool” proposing and Wine opposing the motion that Africa Was Better Off Without Colonialism it looked like he would take the lead, but the second round when Wine proposed the motion, and “Cool” opposed the motion that Marijuana and Prostitution Should Be Legalised and Taxed lead to a tie, when both debaters ended up proposing the motion.
5: Ultimately, though, it was agreed that the real winner was Flavia, who hosted the shit out of that Big Brother Star Game show on Sunday. My colleague Ivan will be here with a full, detailed, comprehensive report on the Big Brother show soon. He didn’t attend it either.