DAY ONE: 08:00 PM
SLEEK: So this is us in the studio with Mister Deejay…some guy has just called in and said he likes Mister Deejay. (PAUSE!!!).
STREETSIDER: Yo! Sleek!! you forgot the part where he said he was a mummy’s boy… doesn’t this guy know we make our paper peddling disses?
SLEEK: Clearly he doesn’t! And have you seen the specs Mr DJ is wearing? Do they still make those?
IVAN: Hmmm!! Allow me…
STREETSIDER: wooooo!!! bad man Erique inna di building!! Speak to the congregation.
IVAN: This has got to be the most Testosterone heavy edition of the show… no wait, I take that back, Keko just walked in… no, she just swaggered in, saving me from an argument with the only other lady in here. But that’s a story for some other time. Crap, Keko’s leaving. This business of being in and out just like that…
…and now another lady waltzes in, messing up my declaration from before. It was actually clever when I’d said it… Sod it, Baz, over to you…
STREETSIDER: Meanwhile, Baz, first explain that suit… Did the secretary tell you we were going to be on RadioCity TV?
BAZ: How yorl doon? I don’t know what these guys have been saying because I was rushing to get here on time. RadioCity has a takeaway downstairs that has no microwave. I shall repeat that in my radio accent. Cord sausarges, yorl.
MR DJ: hATER!!!!!!!!!
BAZ: For the benefit of the viewers, I am in a suit. Hashtag Barney Stinson. It’s how I dress on the weekend. Okay, I knew I was going to find Keko here and I didn’t want to embarass myself.
SLEEK: Go to the top of the post and click to listen to the show live.
ERIQUE: Oh wait, it wasn’t a bottle. Just a silly pile of non-alcoholic CDs. Probably Zari’s music going to be taken to church tomorrow morning for anointing.
STREETSIDER: I wish I had your gift for seeing visions. i would use it to figure out why Cleo first ate a bowl of Vaseline before doing that last video of hers…
STREETSIDER: I have been a hater from birth. I hate on everything… except LMFAO.. I leave that to Baz.
IVAN: Now playing; Kanye and Beyonce’s husband. Elsewhere, Baz maintains that he really didn’t know that Radio City was NOT a TV station in a bid to explain his current choice of wardrobe. I’m looking around for a charger so I can SMS my high school teacher and shove this in his face, ” ha! look at me now! Mbu I won’t amount to much, the country’s listening to me, how do you understand me… then again the same country is watching Zari’s show….
Just realised we didn’t take pix with Keko, how on earth will people believe her when she says she was with the legends. dumb Ivan, dumb, dumb, dumb!!!!
SLEEK: So Mister Deejay is playing a Beyonce song and energetically bobbing his head to it…(cough).
ERIQUE: Ivan is crouched on the floor praying. Halleluyah. He wants the legs of the chick he’s looking at to go to heaven.
IVAN: Dude, I’m praying with my eyes closed. I don’t know what you’re talking abou… oh… that *proceeds to upgrade from prayer mode to Fasting mode”. Turns out we are going to sing at some point… what are we, a boy band?
STREETSIDER: I hear Mr Dj just went from helicopter to mosquito because they are both … FLYYYYYY…
ERIQUE: Man dont jazz that stuff, mosquitoes cause malaria. And I think helicopters do too.
IVAN: Baz just revealed that he’d rather
do be Kim Kardashian over Nicki Minaj… Erique wants to launch a new “NEKKID to Work” movement… Sleek says he’d like to eat Roach and Streetsider reveals that he actually caught his parents doin’ … IT… and says he’d rather they caught him getting it on so he could even the score…Darlyne says penises are weird. Mr. DeeJay says he gives his er, ‘dongle’ the once over every so often…
BAZ: There has been a poll on air about penises. If you are listening and you are below the age of consent you heard that wrong. Your radio is busted. They said PEANUTS. PEANUTS. Get your mind out of the gutter.
IVAN: Where ‘mind’ means head and ‘gutter’ means…
MR DJ: Other stations on a Saturday night….
SNMS on a saturday night….
IVAN: Meanwhile… not too far away
okumanya we are not created equal, for-us we can nont sweya on air, but Jay Z can… kyoka!
and now, a brief interlude…
“If you’re in a good relationship, the sex is good” – Baz
“hahaha” – #Uganda
BAZ: Hey, does anyone know what’s going down at Simba FM? Who are the studio guests there? Har har har! Just kidding. I love Straka.
DARLYNE: You should love Straka, without her you guys would be left with only Zari. I am hijacking this live blog to give ULK the much needed estrogen it is missing and conclusively state that all chicken is better than most penises.
IVAN: So we’ve been tasked with compiling top 10 reasons why you should date a legend… pssssh
John Legend power hour innadi house….oh wait, Mister Deejay, his indecisive twin, changed the power hour to Lauryn Hill.
DAY TWO: 01:00 AM
…And we are out!!!!