The 12-Step Guide: How To Get Out Of Bed On A Cold Morning

By • Apr 25th, 2012 • Category: How To: The Step-By-Step Guide, WTH

Its the Urban Legend 12-Step Guide to success in Almost Anything.
Today we are going to tell you all How To Get Out Of Bed On A Cold Morning.

1. Set your alarm to wake you up early. Alarms are fitted into most clocks, watches, mobile phones and even some of the more advanced televisions and stereo sound systems. Set one for six a.m.

2. When it goes off you will wake up and turn it off.

3. Then you will go back to sleep.

4. Set the alarm on a machine that is not near the bed. Maybe put the phone those ways across the room. That way you have to get out of bed to switch it off.

5. When it goes off the next morning, climb out of bed, cross the floor, switch it off, and ask yourself, “Now what?”

6. Feel cold. Hear the rain. See your bed beckoning in the distance. What the hell. Go back.

7. But seriously you have to get up. You have a job. Okay, leave the phone on so that you can be afraid that the boss will call you to ask where you are if you oversleep.

8. When he calls, pick up and say you are at Kira Road Police station and cannot come in to work on time. Your cousin is a member of AFG simanyi A4G and he was arrested the night before when he was sleepwalking and as his next of kin you have to be there to help investigations.

9. But the boss won’t call. It is raining in his neighbourhood as well.

10. Think off all the wonderful things you can do with your life if you could just muster the will to get up and move out of this bed. You can make a difference! You can change the world! Be inspired and motivated!

11. Then remember that no matter what you plan to do, NOTHING in the whole world can possibly feel as GOOOOOOOOOOD as those blankets that morning.

12. Just stay in bed and lose your job. Unemployed people get to sleep all they want.

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