February ended last week and as the inmates of some offices were painting the town red. Others, in this case you (and maybe perhaps who knows even me) were sitting at home staring at the TV like it had done pupu in the sitting room.
Well, if like me, you are wondering why your salary has come in late this month, come and I tell you my theory. And if your salary has never ever come in late or if you are hustler born and therefore your salary (as the one vagina informed the other vagina when it was asked how the dildo was doing) never comes at all, then…
Ok on to the theory.
Now what happened was, earthworms were tapping KB through the potholes and they overheard us clunky humans talking about how there is no internet in Kampala because their fellow earthworms (or is it waterworms? Probably waterworms) under the Aegean Sea or wherever chewed through the cables and caused the internet to leak.
So in a bid to add much needed variety to our lives, these loving and caring Ugandan earthworms called a conference to decide on what they could do for TWWI (The World Worm Initiative). The purpose of this movement of course; is to remind humanity that that there are other things worth doing in life other than obsessing over money and Facebook.
So they thinked and they thinked and then afterwards thinked some more. Suddenly in the midst of this grim silence (only broken by the sounds of the occasional wormy head exploding from all too much concentration) one earthworm of above average IQ stood up and sayed unto his baddes;
HIM: We chew on the cables that transport money to the many small accounts from the big main account.
His brilliance was duly acknowledged with high fives and the chewing commenced. Which leads us to our current situation.
So fellow users of my bank, if you are wondering whatthefaak happened. Now you know.
Earthworms chewed your money.
As you can see, I just made a joke. And shortly after, laughter occurred. Can you spell catharsis?