Who or what is Adele?

By • Feb 23rd, 2012 • Category: WTH

 

A-to-the-dizzle

 

 

  • Adele is a British soul singer of vast talent and massive appeal who has to date sold all the millions of albums. This is thanks to her unique voice, powerful musical delivery and lyrics which reach deep into the emotional core of listeners’ hearts, enabling them to relate with her struggles as she relates to theirs.

 

  • Adele’s name is pronounced “A Dell”. Not “Aye-Delhi”.

 

  • Adele is best known for the songs Rolling In The Deep and Someone Like You which were inspired by a breakup with a previous boyfriend. These songs struck a chord, if you will, with fans around the world, something other singers, such as Rihanna, are yet to do. I’m not a huge Rihanna fan, at least not of her songs, but I would really enjoy a single where she narrates how she sent a pair of Barbadian badasses to pound her abusive ex-boyfriend’s face in. The chorus could be “Look at you  now, look at you now, look at you now, face mashed like po-tay-terrr.” I just really don’t like bullies.
  • Back to Adele. Adele is best known for the albums 19 and 21, named after the age she was at when she recorded them. These two albums have sold more units than is even mathematically possible. It seems fans love them so much they buy one for each ear. And then buy another one for the car. And then another one for the bathroom. Eh. People love Adele’s 19 and 21!

Look at ME now, I'm getting paper.

 

 

  • Due to the enormous success of these two albums, Adele is now one of the wealthiest musicians in Britain under 30. She has enough money to buy gold teeth and patron and bling. Adele can make it rain in this bitch. She has received emails from shanitabadBlack_ug@gmail.com asking if she is interested in becoming a lesbian.

 

  • Because of a recent crackdown on internet piracy which lead to the closure of Megaupload and to Mediafire becoming a wuss, Adele fans have not been able to access her earlier work, like 14, an album of happier, more lighthearted material. However a taste of the younger Adele’s songwriting can be gleaned when you youtube her song Friday, as covered by a promising new American artist R. Black.

 

  • Adele recently won six grammy awards, winning in every category she was nominated in. This is called a sweep. She would have won seven if there was a category for “Song you really used to like but now are getting kind of sick of  because every radio station plays it seventeen bloody times an hour everywhere you go.”

 

The way you see Adele

 

  • There are currently no collaborations between Adele and any member of Young Money.

 

  •  In conclusion, Adele is cool. Reckanise.

Liking this article is what happens to cool people

  • Tim Kits

    I didn’t know it was possible to get fame decently without changing hair or personality, nicki minaj should pick a leaf from this :)