Good day. And I only say this because I don’t get what “Good morning” or “Good afternoon” really means. Is it a question? If so, when you say “Good night”, are you asking if I’ve heard any rumours that you’re going to have a good night?
Is it a statement? If so, when you say “Good night”, are you indicating that kokonyo you know how to sleep better than me? That my parents didn’t train me properly?
But back to the point. Good day.
Today, I have the pleasure of introducing ULK’s second of many more corporate social responsibility initiatives to come. Our first CSR initiative called upon dearest fans to adopt a poor pothole from the Pothole Orphanage and take it off the streets of Kampala.
But you’ll see that we didn’t have much success mostly because that’s around the time KCCA boss Jennifer Lopez had imported a new pair of balls from China and his wife Erias Mary Lukwago had… well, it’s a long story.
With our second initiative, however, we are not helping a destitute child. We are helping you.
Have you ever had something to say but feared what your friends, relatives and the minister of ethics and integrity might think of you? Have you ever wanted to ask something but you fear you might be called stupid? Like how Roger Mugisha feels?
Have you ever wanted to talk about something shitty happening around you but fear you will be wrongly judged?
At last, we have a place for you to say all the sh*t you’ve always wanted to say without questions or judgement. It’s the first prestigious verbal toilet for everyone on Facebook so tell all your friends and family to get toilet paper and let’s poop. This is the real freedom of speech.