Did You Know? Some Fascinating Facts About Valentines Day

By • Feb 14th, 2012 • Category: Society

 

There are many things that people don’t know about Valentines Day, such as what the point is, but that is mostly because it is not an indegenous tradition. It is an item of imported culture and until we all become white (approx 2121 AD) we cannot all fully understand these things. But in the meantime, we can try to get by with trivia and bits of gnuts.

 

  • Did you know that Valentines Day was first celebrated in AD493 when Pope Theophilus declared the celebration of a feast of fertility in Rome?
  • Did you know that 4billion pounds of roses are delivered in the US every valentines day?
  • Did you know that valentines Day is also known as vaseline day due to the use of  lotion?
  •  Did you know that Jon Cryer is the only funny thing left on Two and a Half Men?
  •  Did you know that if you love someone, set them free? Dump your partner this Valentines Day!
  •  Did you know  that these things of Valentines are immoral? Fornication rates reportedly go up by as much as 57% on Valentines Day!
  •  So do rates of lying as men always act like they had the perfume specially imported from Milan. They had it specially imported from Pioneer Mall.
  •  Did you know that, speaking of perfumes, most expensive fragrances are squeezed out of the fricondalic gland of certain animals? Did you know that the fricondalic gland is accessed through the rectum?

 

Go the other side and extract perfume

 

  • Did you know that that chick has two kids?
  •  Does she know that you have two more?
  •  Did you know that if Valentines Day falls on a leap year, according to Roman Catholic doctrine in ancient times, it’s okay for a bishop to get a hummer?
  •  Did you know what I meant by hummer without googling it?

Nyummy!

 

  • Did you know that Saint Valentines was once played by Nicolas Cage and that for that reason the movie sucked? Cage sucks these days.
  •  Did you know that you should not take your date to see a Nicolas Cage movie unless you are fighting?
  •  Did you know that livetweeting your date is considered discourteous? Mainly because your tweeter followers don’t really care?

One of the many women who don't love you

  • Did you know that Valentines is just a western invention that Africans accept fwaa without questioning and that people who point this out every year feel very intelligent?
  • Did you know that if Nas does not make romantic music, so oba just don’t play Nas on the machine?

Liking this article is what happens to cool people

  • http://Tabers11 Jessie

    The werewolf pic was really scary I could not even look at it