INSOMNIA: The truth finally revealed

By • Jan 27th, 2012 • Category: WTH

A scientific study conducted in many bedrooms has proved that Insomnia is alive; as in, a living  being walking on this earth. More specifically, insomnia is an alien from Nibiru. He is not one of us. He is one of them.

That is why that damned eye is always open.

 

This research also established that insomnia aka the bane of human existence aka the pyramid dweller is a shameless bastard. We know this is true because Weezy taught him.

 

And you can bet Me Weezy I taught him well.

 

His bastardly ways are evident from the fact that he(Insomnia) is the only person who would dare to connive with Umeme to make the lives of good, hard working, bribe paying and tax evading people miserable. Even in the dark you aren’t allowed to catch a break. I mean there is such a thing as adding insult to injury; then there is getting the wound and tattooing “Kumanyoko” in it.

The metabolism of this bizarre creature is without doubt evolutionarily designed to make you hate your life. He is completely invisible, his flesh is made out of pure malice, his bones are calcified autotune and his breathing is cleverly disguised to sound like thoughts.

So every time you can’t get those thoughts to keep still, it is because this wanker is in your room happily humming away. I mean who does that? Who hums happily in the middle of the night? Who in this world (apart from pedophiles who of course don’t count) does such a thing? I swear fuck this guy’s life.

In addition, this study, which was quite exhaustive (involving as it did lots of anion far infrared laser technology and thousands of handmade Ouija boards) showed that Insomnia (may he rot and perish) is a prankster with kleptomanic tendencies.

Guys, you know how your socks keep disappearing and re-appearing in random places? Insomnia keeps moving them around.

You know that beer that you left in the fridge and could have sworn you didn’t drink but somehow SEEM to have drunk oba when? You didn’t drink it, Insomnia did.

Girls, remember those earrings that somehow magically appeared in your boyfriends room that you knew for a fact were not yours? Guess what, Insomnia planted them there.

Stuff like that. Basically every night this fucking pyramid dweller creeps out of his mausoleum in outer space and wafts himself into your room at night. Then he proceeds to do all this messed up anti-social shit just for a laugh.

How I hate his guts.

Enjoy your Friday.

Later.

 

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