US president Barack Obama gave his annual State of The Union address to the American public and their government representatives in Washington DC earlier this week. The speech was met with success as a cross section of American pundits applauded his statements of what his office is doing, has done and plans to do to handle the many problems it is faced with.
Soon after the president left the podium we were able to messenger him for an exclusive interview to speak about the SOTU’s international implications.
I’m easy, I’m easy. This is Uganda right? Who am I on line with? Mwenda?
Nah. It’s Bazanye.
Baz? Wharrap. Happy new year. What’s good in Ug? I hear Ssemakookiro what. Congs, by the way.
Man, Obama, I don’t know if you should talk about those things man. They are controversial.
Controversial now how?
Nanti the kid is from some other bird, not his wife. Like his 24-year-old mistress.
But Ugandans you have funny culture. Here in States you have a 24-year-old chick, we don’t call that a mistress. She’s not even a girlfriend. We call that “a lil some’ somethin’.” “A lil’ knowmsayin.”
I’m sure there is a word in Luganda.
So what’s the chick up to? Are you going to make a reality tv show?
I don’t know. So far the real chick is keeping a low profile. We just put the wrong chick in the papers and now she’s suing.
That’s the American influence. Cultural imperialism, you see? Here in states if someone says you have a famous person’s baby, you say “Chaching!” Even that chick who said she had Beiber’s kid already has a book deal.
Mr President, we are getting distracted. We are supposed to be talking about your state of the nation.
Oh yeah. Man, I rocked the house. I’m just a star #michaeljackson
Did you just hashtag in an interview?
I’m president, biatch. I hashtag wherever I want.
Okay. If you say so.
I freaking hashtag when I’m filling in forms for my dog at the vet!
I get the point.
Gwe, speaking of neutered puppies, have you guys heard Drake’s new album? Weak, eh? Just tissue paper just.Tissue.
Yeah, we got it. Thanks for not making SOPA a law yet.
But you third world chaps keep stealing our shit. #eddiesoft.
You first world guys stole our shit first #colonialism so its payback. Kumbe you know eddiesoft?
His cousin married one of my Kenyan relatives.
Obama, I’m running out of space. So what did your state of the union have to say about global warming? We are baking like tololating chickens here in Ug because of climate change.
Sorry. Us we are in winter.
Give us visas. Stop being mean with visas.
I have a visa here but I’m saving it.
For when Ssemakookiro wants to come to queens to find a wife #princeakeem #zamunda lol!