A Toast To The Greatest Day Ever!

By • Jan 26th, 2012 • Category: Society

Today, the 26th of January, also known as NRM day, is the day we mark 26 years since President Museveni’s liberation of Uganda in 1986. What does this mean for you and for the people of Uganda?

PAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

It’s a holy day set aside by NRM and other events management companies to nurse last night’s hangover and sneer at the thought of you sitting at your work desk pretending to be worth your salary.

See, today is my birthday and I thought it would be very cool to use company resources for personal gain.

Thank you, thank you. Birthdays are cool like that. So I came to ULK headquarters to waste some of your precious time.

Wastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewaste wastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewastewaste wastewastewastewastewastewaste.

Which makes me think, what are some of the best ways to waste time in East Africa? Let’s see.

In Rwanda…

They drive around the country. I hear that country is too small that if you drive at a speed that exceeds 20kph, you could accidentally find yourself in Burundi.

In Uganda…

They complain about government. I hear that people in that country are paid to complain. The energy generated from all the noise is then processed and turned into electricity. However, the complaints are not enough to sustain the country’s demand for electricity. So the government angers people more so as to generate more electricity and meet that demand.

In Kenya…

They marry. I hear that men in that country retire by getting married. The women then take over the day-to-day running of the country and wallop any man who tries to come out of retirement. This explains why Kenya is the only East African country with a female president. She’s called Mwai Kibaki.

In Tanzania…

They talk.  I hear in that country, words are manufactured on a very small scale that the supply can only cater for domestic demand. They don’t have enough words to guarantee any exports, which is why when you ask a random person who the president of Tanzania is, they’ll tell you, “A.Y, right?”

 

Liking this article is what happens to cool people

  • Kitacheri

    Hey you missed Burundi. what do people do there to waste time?