Class is in session…almost

By • Jan 25th, 2012 • Category: WTH

Hi, not many people know this about me, but I think I can share this one thing with you. That’s right, I’m going to bare my soul before you and all I ask is that you don’t judge me to harshly. Are you ready? Alright, here’s the thing…

I’m going back to school.

It’s not to act on some weird fantasy involving a teacher, school nurse, librarian, head-girl or anything. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind until I wrote it.

The real reason I’m going back to school is to get back at the system.

Thou shalt not ‘pack’

Some genius came up with this word to mean, I think, consorting with a member of the opposite sex. When I go back, this rule may be defied with such zeal, professor Baryamureeba will ask me for lessons.

Thou shalt not drink alcohol

Another rule that never really made sense. As you grow older you learn to question things. When we were kids, the teacher told us not to drink and that was final. I’m going back to see what the deal is.

Thou shalt tuck in thy shirt

But that just makes you unattractive, innit?

Thou shalt respect thy elders….

I’m not sure that rule ever existed, so let’s move on to the meat of the article.

Guess who's back

Zone 7’s extremely popular back 2 school party is back and it’s on tonight and I’m not going to sit here and try waxing philosophical – I’ll just draw from my vast experience with these things and tell you, right off the bat, It’s the shit. {if the ‘s’ word is still in there, it’s simply because the editor also agrees with me and couldn’t find a better fitting word}

Why is this night popular, I hear you ask. Simply put, dudes like girls in uniform…

"prey" until something happens

…apart from the traffic officers, those ones take things too seriously when you say that they should be the ones getting arrested for stealing your heart {perhaps it would be more effective if the line was not being delivered through a breathalyzer}.

Alright, that covers the dudes, why would the girls come en masse to this thing.

Your teacher lied! The good ones were already born

I’d like to theorize that it’s one of the few times picking something out of the wardrobe is not a hassle. In fact, I’d say it’s an open and shut affair that shouldn’t, ideally, go on for longer than 5 minutes.

hellorrr, my name is..oh crap, busted

6 if deodorant is being used, 15 if earrings are being worn… I’d say that, but I think it’s sexist. And if there’s one thing we don’t do here at ULK, it’s sexism. ..or objectify members of the fairer sex.

Raise your hands if you were in Namasagali...just raise them nawe

We don’t do that, we’d rather put some pictures here so you can DIY.

Our man in the know...or is it?

Our guy at the party {yes, we planted a mole to go camp out there and give us live updates-some of which he may even post on FB later today} informs us that you don’t have to pay jack if you’re in uniform, however, if you decide you should wear ‘layer’ you shall be fined 20k.


*Pictures used with permission from Zone 7


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About Ivan

doesn't get why you feel compelled to force an accent when you're talking to summers