SMOKED: AN episode in Kamwokya

By • Jan 19th, 2012 • Category: Newsworthy, WTH

A joint was smoked this morning.

In the joint’s defense, it didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.

The joint (referred to as ziggy by those who got a chance to know him personally) was rolled by a raggedy young rasta by the name of Jay Jaw MC Esquire, an aspiring Roko Artis with Kamwokya Pot Holes, a not so new  record label out of (you guessed it) Kamwokya.

After being admired for his symmetry and neat, streamlined form by all the rastas present, ziggy was quickly smoked before the mad props and general ululation could cause him to start over feeling himself.

“It’s not the joints that feel sweetest that necessarily smoke the sweetest. Vanity will always be a sin. Jah Rastafari! “One dreadlocked sage of indeterminate sex was heard saying.

Once smoking commenced the effects were immediate. Eye witnesses reported that one rasta was so charged his dreads stood up straight, like iron filings in a science experiment.

Happiness is killing me!!!!

As soon the effects set in; Rastas began laughing and philosophizing in every direction. Everyone was talking at once. You could think you were in Parliament, albeit one with a slightly higher collective IQ.

Nonetheless, the general Kamwokya community was not amused. Onlookers were affronted and irritated by what was termed as “a bunch of ragamuffins laughing sillyly and carrying on”.

A fat loser by the name of Winston who pretends to be a broker said it best.

“This is simply not excusable! We are Ugandans! Everywhere you look, we are being robbed, load- shedded, pot holed, tear gassed, grasshoppered, striked… For crying out loud! Can’t we show some respect for our national vocation and just be miserable? Look at these lumpens! Blariful!”

A lumpen of the blariful variety

That was when Urban Legend was contacted. Because also us we are lumpens who have no respect and regularly precipitate silly laughing and carrying on.

Mbu.

As soon as we arrived on the scene, we immediately started hunting down any brothers, sisters, nephews or nieces of the recently cremated ziggy. Sleek even bought sun goggles (that is what he called them) so he could try out those moves of Horatio Caine on CSI Miami.

... and you thought being sleek was easy

Unfortunately we were not able to locate any relatives of the recently departed ziggy (RIP). Sleek found the burnt matchstick they used and so got to try out his moves after all. The rest of us unfortunately, were not that lucky. So we just took our sober selves back to the office and passed the time saying funny but unkind things about racist people on Facebook.

 

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