While you spent the night partying sinfully on the night of 31st December 2011, we were swearing oaths at ULK headquarters (God bless us).
One of the oaths we took was to help you find answers to some of the toughest questions in life this year. Like the one below.
Girls, do you sometimes stare at your awesome pair of buttocks in the mirror and wonder, “How much is this thing really worth?”
What am I saying? Most of you actually ask, “What can I do with this thing?”
Many a time, girls tend to overlook this principal question and forget that it is the very foundation that this country is fundamentally built upon.
“WTF?” you may ask. Good question.
Do the math. Just one pair of buttocks could be worth a 100-acre plot of land (assuming they are located on the right owner). And if a shopping mall was built on those 100 acres, do you realize how many jobs you’d create?
Fuel prices could go down because of a girl’s buttocks. Like if the Total or Shell CEO’s girlfriend said, “You’re not getting this if you don’t lower those prices.”
Those things are a major lucrative business. Bad Black exported a second-hand pair to the UK and look what she got.
Frankly, I don’t know where the government gets the guts to say this country’s economy is suffering while more than a million girls let their buttocks wander allover the city unprotected.
Even entire constitutions could be amended with just two powerful buttocks. Imagine a naked chick storming Prime Minister Amama Mbabazi’s crib late at night and, at buttpoint, asking him, “Term limits or blue balls?”
Now that you know what your buttock is capable of, don’t treat it badly coz it will just wake up one morning and go, “I don’t need this shit! I can make it on my own.”
If thieves break into your house, let them take whatever they want because you can use your buttocks to get it all back. Heck, they can even beat you to death as long as they don’t go with your buttocks. Those are your most treasured possession.
I can hear some girls screaming, “Shiiiyaaaaa! Some of us for us we use our brains!”
Idiot! Would your brains have anything in them if you weren’t able to sit in class? Buttocks rule.