Last week, we found so much love floating around the office that we called a meeting to discuss various ways of distributing it before Tullow Love discovered it and opened offices in Uganda.
And that’s how Legendary Ivan suggested that we give it to potholes in Kampala because “those things can swallow anything”.
We are asking every responsible citizen of Uganda to use this love by adopting an orphan pothole stuck on the cold and heartless streets of Kampala.
You can also look through our list of destitute potholes updated daily in the Pothole Orphanage. Click here and you can put up one for adoption.
In case you ask the little buggers to come with you and they refuse to budge because Sevo told the whole world to never trust a Ugandan, I’ve jotted a few pick up lines for you to use to get them to allow.
FYI: The lines were initially meant to be used on girls but for some strange reason, the girls we used them on either gave us strange looks or called the police. No respect for the institution of romance. I hope they work for you.
The constitutional pick up
Become my wife. It’s my right.
The journalist pick up
According to reliable sources, it has been reported that I love you.
The Mbabazi pick up
I want to swindle your heart.
The Besigye pick up
Join the revolution today and say no to oppression, corruption and dictatorship. Love me.
The Otunnu pick up
Excuse me. How are you?
The UMEME pick up
You have been connected to my heart. Pay the bill.
The parliamentary pick up
I hereby raise the motion that you love me.
The NRM pick up
Love me or go to jail.
The oil pick up
(We tried to spin this one all possible ways but it came out dirty everytime)
The Facebook pick up
Poke poke. Lv me nw. LOL!
The Onek pick up
The spiritual me and the physical me have met and agreed to love you equally. Congratulations!