On Your First Date, Ask This

By • Nov 24th, 2011 • Category: Society

We’ve covered in-depth dating tips here before on ULK. We generally leave no bed unturned till you find a fellow occupant for it. Today, we answer that question that drums at the back of your head every time you sneak a few crystals of sugar at your workplace into the small sack you keep under your desk. You know the question; what should I ask on a first date?

We all know how you somehow fail to get past the “What’s your favorite political party?” question.  Get your notebook, these tips will be so on-point, you’ll name your first born ULK.

If that guy of Twilight, Michael Bolton, was attacked by Wesley Snipes of Blade, what would he do? Would he:
A) Scream like a little girl as images of his childhood as a cross-dressing little boy with pigtails and mascara flash across the screen
B) Start lactating
C) Tell Blade that he’s been a bad boy and would like to be spanked
D) All of the above


Blade, don't heart me

This question is a game changer. It shows how intelligent the person you are with is. You don’t want to have a ULK baby with a daft person; that’d hurt the brand. Look deep into their eyes as they attempt to answer the question.

What are your favorite greens?

Research by leading research firms in America has shown over and over again that metohpropyl, the hormone responsible for a sunny disposition in mates, is dominant among mates who eat greens, especially doodo and pork. If the person you are on a date with doesn’t have favorite greens, you are in for mood swings, hiss parties and tantrums. Consider this a heads-up

What is your favorite Safi flavor?

First made super famous by an ad featuring the then young Tyrese Gibson walking onto a bus, going to the back and singing safi praises, safi has since grown to be a leading soft drink globally. Loved by both recovering alcoholics because of the hard-hitting lingering taste it leaves and by budding singers because it makes them squeal with delight, safi to its drinkers is only next to coke in the heights it elicits.
The person you are with ought to know all this and be able to very quickly point out their favorite flavor and list why he/she doesn’t like the rest.

Do you think Superman was super gay to wear his red panties on top?
This ought to elicit an immediate response. Mates who think Superman’s dress-sense was a little too ‘happy’ are not fashion-forward; they’ll be the ones still wearing skinny jeans when the rest of us are wearing that lady gaga egg. Don’t hang out with a misfit.


(Super)Manning the cat-walk

Liking this article is what happens to cool people