74 Years From Today, Umeme Becomes The New Sausage

By • Nov 18th, 2011 • Category: Society

You remember when I told you (here) that I could foresee things? I had a dream.

In the year 2085, when the shilling has been load shed, electricity becomes the official currency in Uganda. And the following takes place.

 

Yusuf haggles on Speke Road

YUSUF: You want how much?

SUPPLIER: Two electricities.

YUSUF: That’s for short or for long?

SUPPLIER: For short.

YUSUF: Naaaweee! Ok I’ll add a battery.

 

Property tycoon Lugard vibes a girl

LUGARD: Me you see me here?

VICTIM: Yes.

LUGARD: You will be wise to love me. I own enough electricity to iron 10 shirts and even boil a whole cup of tea! I’m rich!

VICTIM: Eeeeeeeehhhhhhh maaaamaaaaaa!!!

 

MPs have a bloody debate

SPEAKER: Calm down, honourable members…

MP: How?! NO!

SPEAKER: Right honourables, this is not…

MP: Excuse me madaamu supiika sir! In my consityuwense here alone…

SPEAKER: Constituency…

MP: Please let me finish! In my consityuwense here alone the people there are very poor that they can’t afford food to eat! And the government wants to waste tax payers’ electricity on buying more fighter jets?!

 

Newspapers publish the day’s news

“Bad Black arrested for stealing UK billionaire’s electricity.”

“Telecoms cut rates to 3 volts per second.”

“BOU to release 100k electricity note.”

“Govt ministers pinned for swindling CHOGM power.”

“Man wins lottery, becomes voltaire.”

“Bumilicious girl lures horny gologo man for yoyo, steals his electricity.”

 

Outside a free treatment clinic

No longer supported by donor funding.

All patients please come with your own electricity.

 

Sevo campaigns for another last term

…I promise to fund the Makerere students’ project to make a car that runs on fuel. Even teachers will finally be sorted. My government has put aside billions of electricity for them. You want another rap?

Noooooooo!!!

You want another rap?

Twakoowa!!

Mpenkoni mpenkoni mpenkoni…

 

Liking this article is what happens to cool people

  • Phyllis

    Heheheheheeee