Notes From An Idle Mind | The Bieber Edition

By • Nov 9th, 2011 • Category: Notes From An Idle Mind

Justin Bieber is going to be a daddy. Well, it may not be because of the chic alleging that she defiled him {but that arrangement is pretty cool, right? Groupie love and all that}, but he will be a dad. In the face of all his denials, the question is not so much, “is he saying he is not the baby daddy” or “is he claiming that he was not defiled”… this is way too intense.

One of the Legends went ahead and interviewed Bieber yesterday, so I’ve been left to pick up the pieces and interview Justin Bieber’s discography.

UL: The web has been filled with what we in the third world call bollocks regarding your shall we say, owner. What do you have to say about that?

Bieber’s Discography:  It started out with a desire to find “Somebody to love”. When he sang that, everyone thought, ‘Oh cute, this little chap with a helmet is singing about things before his time”. Understandably, he was not going to let people treat him like a child…

UL: I see, so that would explain why he went ahead and dropped another clue…

BD: Exactly. We were just there, when fwaaah, he starts singing about his private parts.

UL: You are referring to the song “baby” then?

BD: No, you idiot, I mean “Eenie Meenie” Baby was sang to foreshadow this current mess…which you shouldn’t believe because the Biebz is yet to have a wet dream…or an erection…

UL: So you’re suggesting that the woman in the media is full of it? That she is just a girl who thinks he is the one, but the child is not his son?

MJ’s Discography: WTF??

BD: Something like that, but in the event that it were true, which it isn’t, we can see that she’s clearly “One Less Lonely Girl”.

UL: How about Silina Gomesi?

BD: Selena Gomez is his “Favourite Girl” and that’s all we can say…Well, we can also say that Miley Cyrus is the offspring of Chucky from Child’s Play, but it may take away the goodwill and credibility we’ve since established.

UL: We have seen a great deal of furor online from fans, teachers and his babysitter, we haven’t heard much from the Bib, what’s up with that?

BD: You know what, he has really matured. One Time, he would have come out and made noise, but now he is quiet, you even want to ask him, “Where are you now?”. Then you remember the fans and you “Smile” and “Pray” that none of them does something nasty or goes “Overboard”. So far they are limiting it to just “Tweets”

UL: I’m sure the fans would like to know, will he be “Home this Christmas” or hidden away in “His World” and never return…

BD: er, Never say never…


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About Ivan

doesn't get why you feel compelled to force an accent when you're talking to summers