Wednesday November 2, 2011
10: 20AM: Sleek innadihouse, giving you information on what is going on on Radio Sanyu right now now. Real-time. Streetsider is in the studio, on The Lounge, talking to Em.
Em: So, mehn, you man, tellyasi about yowaselef?
(I think my radio batteries are low)
ED: The guy stammered a bit. AC does that to him.
Em’s teasing him about his newly-acquired stutter. She’s also asking him what he had for breakfast. She says she offered him the juice…what else did she offer him eh? Some grass? They’ve now gone into a commercial break.
“What is the point of being serious? Life is short.”- Streetsider on Sanyu FM 10:22am.
“He has told them he is called the Streetsider, we are waiting to hear his real name..” Em
Em: How many bloggers are there on Urban Legend Kampala?
Streetsider: Legends…how many legends…
Em wants to know how much it is to attend the party on Friday. Streetsider says it is free; we are celebrating our birthday…mbu asking people to pay to come for your birthday is “some straka stuff”.
Em: So Streetsider, have you ever been in love?
Streetsider: (removed by ED)
Em: So have you ever had your heart broken?
Streetsider: (breaking down into tears. Removed by ED)
Em: And are you in a relationship?
(ED: Em seems to be enjoying Streetsider’s discomfort)
Em: Tell us about the other legends…
Streetsider: (snitching) There is Me…I’m the dark guy…the guy with the dark side…then there is Erique, he is psycho…there is Ernest….the one with a head fixed on rather loosely…Sleek is the smooth and suave one…there is Ivan…the one who knows how to have a good time…tell a good joke…
Em: Do you enjoy working with them?
Streetsider: I do, but we can’t have a sensible meeting…they just be laughing….
Em then asks Streets to send some shout-outs. Streets hollas at all ULK fans, and goes on to mention all your names. You should have listened in, you’d have heard your name. He then somersaults out of the studio.
Thursday November 3, 2011
10: 18AM: Erique here supplying you with the downlow on what Sleek and Em are doing on air today. I see Em smiling at the jokes Sleek is about to hit her with, now she’s laughing, she’s cracking up…and it’s a gooooooooaaaaaaaalllllll!!! SLEEK IS BLUSHING! He’s laughing with an accent even. Harrharrharrrrrrr…
10: 20AM: No I can’t see them, dwanzie. My radio lights red. That’s how I know dude is blushing. And it heats up. That’s how I know Em is smiling.
10.22AM: Sleek was asked to comment about a Kenyan song. Gay! That was for the soccer match you made us lose you goons. But I don’t hate you fully. You’re my neighbours so I’ll spare just a half kilo of like for you. Can I be your friend on Facebook?
10.25AM: Oooohhhhh hear! Sleek started using the accent. Trying to match up with Em, I think. The pressure is oooooon!
10.26AM: Sleek nti we have male dancers at the party.
10.28AM: A caller just called (duh!) to win a ticket…and failed! Because he doesn’t know the damn party he wants to attend. Bladefoo! Oh wait, I understand. The belly dancers. Okay. Forgiven. I unbladefoo you.
10.30AM: Roger just called in to also win a ticket…and he…failed?! Nti he had no kara to listen to the show. But he has kara to win the ticket.
Jyeah! Someone won! Now that’s proper coolness. I’m growing up to be like him. Matter of fact let me go and grow now.
Friday November 4, 2011
Sleek here. I went, I yapped on air as Erique said in this post, now I’m behind the keyboard. Baz is behind the mic this time. The Legends don’t seem cut out for radio…
11:00AM: (static…gurgling sounds in the background)
11:03AM: Baz spent the first three minutes of the show talking into his ka-torchi phone saying “Is this thing on?”
Finally, Em somersaulted to where he was and shoved it in his mouth…the mic that is. Excited at the sound of his voice, Baz then said “Baz innadihouse on-the-ones-and-threes. Mic check mic check one two“
(pleasantries exchanged. Then Em reads the day’s relationship problem. See it here. Click.)
Em: So Baz, what would you advise this lady?
Baz: This lady’s problem is scary…lady with a problem, if your man’s too tired to perform in the evening, he should pay his dues in the morning…
Em: (light bulb!! The room becomes too bright even)
Baz: (unfazed by the light) We need to ask ourselves why the man is not performing. He may fail to perform because he has worms. Empathize. Or he may have stomach problems and fears to fart while getting jiggy. Buy him tabs…
(Kyamuzi has called in and wants to win the tickets. But he doesn’t know what the tickets are for.
Isaac then calls in and also wants the tickets. But he doesn’t know who the party is for
Juma Mukiibi calls in to win the tickets…he says Urban Legend is a group of musicians
Kim also calls in and wants to win the tickets…that they are for a show at Boda Boda…that some people are launching a magazine
11:52AM: (Nathan finally calls and wins the tickets.)
Sometimes fellow country men make writing funny things very easy. There are actually people out there who call into stations to win tickets to stuff they have no idea about? I blame it on the fuel prices. People can’t drive to work so they stay home and make random calls to stations.