First of all, Katongole Singh was told to sketch his baddez. I should probably be feeling bad for the man. So much energy invested in associating with different continent, country and tribe peeps. But I need something to mask the Man Utd catastrophe & subsequent shame. Twaswadde. Moving on.
There are things you only see in the movies. Those times when the idiot of a man tells the woman something so boundlessly styupeed, you want to jump into the screen and hit him on the head.
Then you hit womanhood. So you’re in this complicated relationship with womanhood, who doesn’t know how to communicate properly. She doesn’t warn you that with her appearance on the scene come many things. Cat calls from Kampala lumpens, fights with cellulite and hips which don’t get the concept of “do not make best friends with this TV chicken I’m hogging down. Let it slide peacefully to my rectum.”
But some things can be ignored ko. The biggest surprise which womanhood comes bearing is men. Idiotic, senseless, half brained, men who make you wish Eve had stopped at eating the fruit. But she went ahead & bred with Adam. One idiotic son and the trait found its way into most of these species’ systems. Only naturally-ingrained idiocy can make a man say any of these things to a woman. Lemme help you understand.
“I’m pregnant”. Kko him: “What were you thinking?”
Excuse me Ssebo. I didn’t think impure thoughts & end up with child. I also can’t blame it on divine happenings and I’m pretty sure the spirit doesn’t intend to use my womb to house an African saviour.”What was I thinking?” What were you thinking? Mst.
I’m not yet ready
There’s no beating about the bush here. Listen up. My eggs have an expiry date. In 20+ years, I’ll probably be unable to hatch anything. Plus all this environmental degradation ish isn’t helping. I’m a time bomb…oba oven?? Point is, “I’m not ready” isn’t the desired response to the let’s-settle-down question. A ring is. With a big rock. You can keep the bended knee.
Let’s move in together & see if we’re compatible first
So what have we been doing for the last 4 years? What d’ya wanna know, eh? The nitty gritty of my cycle and the brands that I use to support this natural and majorly annoying phenomenon?
The answer is this. Not happening. Lazy man, you want the milk but don’t want to buy the cow?
Also, I am Catholic.