Agg-rey El-Che, Minister of Awesomeness, ULK
Well, because I don’t know the time you are reading this article, I have been forced to generalize my greeting to, yo reader, whatsup?
As the self-imposed minister of awesomeness, and due to the fact that the five official ninjas are busy preparing for the Legendary Friday, I’ve been forced to give you, dear loyal readers of ULK, a preview of what to expect on the 4th of November, at the equally legendary Boda Boda bar.
Security has been beefed up following the concern of many citizens. You think Golola Moses is tough? Just see Miss Kyrte’s new look. Belle’s decided to prove her awesome meanness by cutting off her dreadlocks. After Gaddaffi’s female bodyguards did a great job, we can assure you that Miss Kyrte and her crew of equally hot b***hes will do a great job too. So safety is sealed.
Because we vibe hot chics for a living, here at ULK, you can be sure that they will be in plenty. Sleek, one of the five ninjas and the only one with a viable taste in the female species is currently traversing Latin America looking for the crème de la crème of beauty. You can follow Sleek’s conquests on Google Maps.
Who is who:
ULK is awesome, so much that it has a ministry of awesomeness. So what do you expect? Only the most awesome citizens. Because Ernest claims to be a responsible citizen, he’s currently vetting the guest list to see who has the best swag to live the legend. Make sure you handle him with care, or you may not be invited. We love you so much that we care about your music tastes, and as such, Rachel K will be present (as a guest, not a musician. She’s too cute for music).
We know you want to show off whatcha gat. Erique, the ruthless of the ninjas will take care of that. We know you are scared of Red pepper, Onion and Bukedde but don’t be afraid to show us what yo mamas gave you. Trust us, we know how to kick their asses, so come as hot as you can be. And because we love Agnesssssss Nandutttttu, and Erique has a secret crush, we’ll have her around.
Here at ULK, we strive to make you happy. So expect lots of fun, jokes and so much more. We know it might break your hearts but Bad Black, Sharon O, and Judith heard may not be invited due to their failure to understand even the simplest of the mortal jokes, well unless they start differentiating a joke from a diss.
Huey Freeman, Riley Freeman, Peter and Stewie Griffin, Capt. Jack Sparrow, Chandler, Fraiser and you have confirmed their attendance. Col. Stinkmeaner and Harry Potter had not yet replied to their invites. By press time, Streetslider, the only ninja with mega game was on his way to USA to try and convince Nicki Minaj that there’s a country called Uganda, and that she was needed ASAP. Unfortunately, Olara Otunnu turned down our invitation when we told him that there would be hot chics.
If you haven’t received the invitation, then on behalf of Urban Legend Kampala, I officially invite you for the legendary party, due 4th November at Boda Boda. See you there.
PS: By press time, Ivan, the fifth ninja was trying to sneak Bad Black out of prison.